Humble Handmaid

Thank God for Those Who Make Us Want to Pull Our Hair Out

2012-02-08T22:26:00.002-06:00

I had the pleasure of attending another Opus Dei Evening of Reflection downtown last night, and one of the priests said something that really struck me: "When somebody irritates you or hurts you, don't think, 'I'm so irritated and hurt by this person!' Instead, think 'This person sanctifies me.'" In their refreshing way, the Opus Dei priests brought this idea down to the practical level of the everyday person's everyday experiences. Maybe it's a coworker who irritates you. Maybe it's your crazy in-laws. Maybe it's your husband.

Or my two-year-old who makes me want to pull my hair out on a daily basis.

In any case, God has allowed certain people and personalities into my sphere of life for a reason. To learn patience, maybe. Or humility. Or self-control. Or gentleness.

And I love Him for this.

Because He gives my daily frustrations and sufferings purpose and meaning. With just my "yes" to whatever life brings, in His wisdom and mercy He uses everything to help me grow closer to Him in holiness. He promises that everything He allows or doesn't allow into my life is according to His will. And that His will--His special plan for me--works for my good.

I am working on thanking God continuously for all of the challenging people in my life. I will thank him more often for my two-year-old. Not just when I'm getting slobbered with precious kisses at breakfast, or when I see that huge grin from across the room, or when his adorable little voice says, "I love YOU Mommy!!!!" I'll also work to say "Thank you" when I'm racing out the door to mass and Faith is crying and Gabe wants some attention too so he takes off his shoes and socks again (I put them on twice already) and throws them and one accidentally hits Faith in the head and she starts protesting loudly and then Gabe escapes out of time-out to get his milk cup whose lid is leaking and gets milk all over the carpet and tracks dried oatmeal and mushy peas from last night's dinner from the kitchen floor into the living room and I have to clean that up before we can leave but first I have to calm down the baby who has just had a volcanic eruption of a blow-out in the car seat.

Yes, I'm working on thanking God continuously for sweet Gabriel during those moments, too. :)

Creative provision

2012-02-08T21:53:00.000-06:00

Some of you may have noticed a joyful little status on my Facebook page this week about God's generous and creative provision for my family. As promised, here's the story. It's not anything wild and crazy. But it's definitely God-ly. :)

An old friend of mine from high school starting reading Humble Handmaid a couple of years ago. We reconnected through email and then got together for dinner when she came to visit a friend in Houston. My friend actually moved to Houston this year, and we got together again to visit a few months ago. The family she now lives with in Houston decided to clean out their closets recently, and my friend arrived at my house this weekend with four enormous bags full of clothes for me and Gabriel! Not that every single item fit me, but a lot of it did.

We don't spend a lot of money on clothes. It's just not something that has ever been a priority in our budget. But we have been incredibly blessed to have much of what I wear and nearly all of what our children wear given to us in some way or another. The fact is that we all need decent clothing, and that much of the cotton we Southerners wear to handle the heat, just doesn't stay decent-looking for years and years. It was a relief to receive some replacements for old staples, and to freshen up my wardrobe with some new (to me) things. :)

I am thankful for God's generosity in providing for us in this way, but I am also thankful that He has taught me how to live more in perspective over the last few years.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? -Matthew 6:25

Slice of life

2012-02-03T09:31:00.001-06:00

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

2012-02-01T06:00:00.005-06:00

I came across this on a blog a while back. A fellow mom was sharing how she asks her children to "test" their speech--especially with one another--with this:

Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

I definitely need to work on all three of these in my own speech...especially the necessary part.

I was shy and fairly quiet for much of my early years and into college. When I said something in a group, I generally tried to at least have something substantial to say most of the time.

Not that I'm a huge talker these days, but my speech is definitely much more "loose" and chatty than it used to be. Too often I find myself saying unecessary things: over-explaining myself, going off on unhelpful tangents, giving my opinions un-prompted...simply saying things that are not necessary or helpful or illuminating or edifying.

I do this in my marriage (And oh how the unnecessary can be just as harmful to good marital communication as something untrue or unkind!).

I do this with my friends, family and acquaintances.

I do this with the butcher at Kroger and the barista at Starbucks.

I do this in prayer.

This week, I came across one of those stick-it-to-you-when-God-wants-you-to-hear-it verses in Proverbs.

"He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit has understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent."
-Proverbs 17:27-28

Some of the most mature, wise people I know are also the last ones to speak or offer their opinions. I want to work toward that, to be a person whose presence is thoughtful, calm, and even wise. For my children's sake. For my marriage's sake. For God's sake. Because I think God asks that of all of us, in some way.

Just something I'm working on these days. :)

How to Preserve a Husband (old family recipe)

2012-01-31T19:58:00.000-06:00

I've doctored up the basic recipe a bit to my own liking...enjoy!

How to Preserve a Husband

Be careful in your selection; Do not choose too young. Once selected, give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use.

Do not pickle or put in hot water. This makes them sour, hard and sometimes bitter.

Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, sweetening them with love, and seasoning to taste with kisses and smiles.

Cover them in sweet charity, shower them with generosity, and keep them warm with a steady fire of devotion.

To keep them fresh and light-hearted, sprinkle daily with Sense of Humor.

Most importantly, wrap them tightly in prayer.

Thus prepared, they will keep forever.

Forget regret

2012-01-26T05:00:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure why I have music from Rent stuck in my head today...but it inspired a little post at least. :)

The line, "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss" keeps running through my head. I think that the idea behind the line is somewhat different than the direction of my reflections on it, but I think good music often does that--inspires meditation.

I can truly say that, where my babies and my young family are concerned, I try every single day not to miss out on precious moments of family time, of kissing and hugging and singing to my children, of instigating spontaneous tickle fights, of lazy afternoons sitting in the backyard all together, of baby cheek-kissing marathons and mini family dance parties to country songs on the radio.

Sometimes dishes aren't done, laundry stays piled in the living room (or laundry room) for a couple of extra days, and I don't take enough showers. But despite the imperfections and tough moments of marriage and parenting that we all have, I am blessed beyond measure. And I hope with all my heart that I will not look back one day and regret anything. Life is too short.

I love, love, love my darling little Faith. She brings me so much joy! I treasure her perfect pink cheeks, her easy smile, her soft blue eyes. I love the way she lets out a little sigh when she falls asleep in my arms, snuggling her face into my chest. I love the way she smiles up at me in the morning when I lean over her crib to pick her up for breakfast. It's a joy every morning to watch her emotions playing out across her face..."I'm so hungry! But I'm so HAPPY to see my mommy! I think I'm happier than I am hungry!" And she always, always smiles.

Our special song is "Edelweiss"; I sing it to Faith all the time. She reminds me of the flower in the song.

Edelweiss, Edelweiss, every morning you greet me; small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to meet me. Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever...

My sweet Gabriel is such a little man. He looks more like a little boy than a toddler now. (Except when he runs. He still looks adorably baby-ish when he runs.) He does (heavily supervised) chores now: throwing away diapers for me, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, finding Faith's pacifier, helping unload the dishwasher, setting the table, etc. He looks so cute in his little button-down shirts and jeans--no more onesies for this boy. Is it sad that I am secretly happy he is still in diapers?

The special song I sing to Gabriel all the time is, "You Are My Sunshine." I go get him out of his room in the morning and after naps singing this to him, and when I open the door, he is waiting for me in his little bed with this big, special grin on his face that I know is just for me.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, oh please don't take my sunshine away.

I still love to play dress up.

2012-01-25T06:51:00.000-06:00

A girl sure loves to get dressed up every once in a while. I made Michael do a prom picture in front of our mantlepiece to document the night for posterity. :)

All dressed up for Michael's company holiday party on Saturday night. I'm wearing the blush pink pearl necklace and earring set he surprised me with for Mother's Day last year. And the dress is the one I wore as a bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding a couple of year's ago. Such a great dress--and the only bridesmaid dress I've actually ended up wearing again! Nice choice, Liz! :) (By the way, please pray for Liz if you are reading this--she's expecting her first baby this June!)

In other notes, how does he still look like he lays on the beach all day when it's the middle of January? That's those Sicilian Italians for you! Not to mention he spends a lot of time outdoors these days for our business, CrossCutt.

Why I Love My Friends...and Facebook

2012-01-24T21:05:00.001-06:00

I am so thankful God has provided me with friends and a community that can encourage me like this. Hope any other tired nursing moms out there can find some of these helpful tonight too!

Erin Berryhill Franco

Reason #100 It's Great Getting up with the Baby All Night: ... To be honest, I am just too tired to think of anything positive or clever right now. Guest post, anyone?;)

· · Share · 16 hours ago via mobile

- Katie Sciba someday I'll be up all night wondering where he is and if he's safe; right now he's in my arms, safe, with a pure soul and a sweet grin.
  16 hours ago · · 10
- Becky Jackson Berry Last night I got laundry done by switching it around at feeding times. Clean clothes by morning!
  15 hours ago · · 3
- Sheri Bailey Carey The day is coming when the only way they'll snuggle with us this long is when they're sick. I guess we've got to hold 'em while we can!
  13 hours ago · · 3
- Erin Berryhill Franco Fantastic job ladies...thanks so much. ;) can I call y'all next time I need a pep talk too?;)
  13 hours ago · · 2
- Susie Z. Jacobs I would've contributed but either I slept through Katie's second wakeup, or she did... Or both. Nevertheless, great posts!
  13 hours ago ·
- Kate Darbonne Dawson Giving her soft skin a little back rub! I got to do that last night with Therese.
  13 hours ago · · 1
- Shelly Henley Kelly silky soft little ears....
  11 hours ago · · 1
- Nicole Augustin Reed little happy baby sleep sounds :)
  9 hours ago · · 2
- Erica Karam Girouard Burning calories with every feeding!! And sweet snuggles from the product of you and your hubs' love and God's blessings!
  8 hours ago · · 2
- Erin Berryhill Franco You guys are all AMAZING! I'm writing these down and posting them on the wall next to my rocker for tonight!
  7 hours ago ·
- Shelley Grady Early baby toes....
  2 hours ago ·

Never be in a hurry?

2012-01-24T19:02:00.002-06:00

This post is in honor of my dear friend Lucy. It's her birthday today, on the feast of St. Francis de Sales. She keeps a beautiful quote from St. Francis de Sales posted on her refrigerator, which I long ago copied and posted on my own refrigerator. I haven't yet read his Introduction to the Devout Life, but everyone I've talked to fairly raves about how wonderful it is. It's on The List. :)

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."

I don't think I've ever seen Lucy in a hurry during the four years I've known her.

Happy Birthday, Lucy!

St. Francis de Sales, pray for us!

You'd never know

2012-01-16T21:53:00.000-06:00

This precious little episode occurred last night after dinner. Faith is a very smiley baby, but it's actually a little tough to get her to really laugh. So it was a treasure of a moment to get her to laugh so much at one time.

You'd never know, though, from watching this sweet little video, that not five minutes before, you could have cut the tension in the house with a knife during dinner.

Gabriel had been sick for days, and it had been a painfully full evening of near-constant whining, a disappointing half-burned dinner (and I'd doubled the recipe to freeze for later!!), plus a 25-minute training/investment session during dinner regarding teaching Gabriel to eat his dinner and not throw it on the floor OR hold it in his mouth and let it dribble down his chin and all over his clothes (while laughing at us). Michael had been feeling terrible all day and was having a tough time (as I was) staying patient. Hence the tension.

I will share that after 25 minutes of calm, firm persistence--and consistent consequences--on my part, Gabriel suddenly started to calmly finish his dinner and then chirp sweet nothings happily about "Face" (what he calls his baby sister) while I wiped him up with a damp rag and copious amounts of praise. I am thankful that a rough dinner ended happily and we had a lovely few minutes of family time (including taking turns flirting with Baby "Face") before poor Gabriel had his next mood swing and I whisked him off, all flailing limbs and crocodile tears, to bath and bedtime.

I always want to stay honest and real on this blog--but always in an appropriate, positive and constructive way. My life is not perfect. My kids aren't perfect. I'm not perfect. My husband isn't perfect. My house isn't perfect. My cooking isn't perfect. And so on. :)

Balance at the Cross

2012-01-11T10:19:00.001-06:00

My husband and I are LSU fans. Not the rabid, alligator-roasting, pay-off-your-season-tickets-before-your-mortgage kind. But the faithful kind.

We had friends over to the house to watch the BCS National Championship on Monday night, and while the party was fantastic, the game was not. In short: Alabama creamed LSU, 21-0. It was a painful, disappointing game to watch. By all accounts this year, LSU has had the best season in recent memory, and the Tigers' uncoordinated, lackluster performance on Monday night didn't seem to reflect that in the least. Frustration and disappointment are natural and appropriate. It's OK to analyze where the problems were, but it's not OK to be ugly about it. All of the outcry and nastiness from LSU fans toward the team and the coaching staff since the game has been horrendous. The speed with which thousands and thousands of "loyal" fans began to demonize the players and coaches during and after the game was breathtaking. Not unprecedented though. And not unexpected.

An exasperated friend (and fellow Tiger fan) posted this nugget of shining perspective on his Facebook wall after the game,

"I love LSU Football, but reflecting on last night, I think it has become our idol. If we gave a small amount of the committment, passion, and emotion (and $$) we spent last night to our Lord and Savior, our world would be a much different place."

After I read my friend's Facebook post on the morning after the game, God suddenly put this thought on my heart: All things in the context of the Cross.

I know there are people who will read this post and start to roll their eyes right about now. "Really? You're going to bring God into this? Look, I'm a good person. I go to church. We're all just having fun! Do you have to bring God into everything?! Do I always have to censor myself?!"

And my answer is, I think so. But if we all censored ourselves with respect to becoming more balanced in the light of the Cross with everything, our world would be a lot more peaceful. Our own lives would be a lot more peaceful.

I have felt God asking me to reflect on balance over the past six months, bringing to my attention how I need to be more balanced in handling my emotions, in parenting my children, in living my vocation to marriage, and in dealing with difficult situations with friends and family members.

The Wise Counselor has pointed out a few things to me about balance over the past few months. At least, He has pointed out what He is asking of me, and I've been trying to live that out--failing often, but trying.

Like how to be generous in giving others the benefit of the doubt, in not jumping to conclusions about the intentions or motives behind their actions.

Like how He wants me to better reign in my thoughts and offer large and small challenges and suffering to the Cross--instead of letting my internal stress and anxiety run unchecked like a herd of wild horses.

Like the fact that having a new baby means that my home (and lots of other things in my life) will be a little more disorganized for while--and maybe forever.

Like how He asks me to be a "cheerful giver" (2 Cor 9:6-7).

Like the fact that there should be no all-or-nothing in any area of my life. There is only the offering of my I-am-shooting-high-because-You-ask-me-to-and-I'm-giving-my-humble-best. And letting God do the rest.

Like how He asks me to be charitable and loving when speaking about others in conversation, instead of crossing the line from fruitful discussion to all of the ugliness that quickly comes with venting.

Like how He asks me to make sure that each moment of time I do have with loved ones is spent in cheerful, no-strings-attached gratitude--instead of entitlement.

Like how when I'm having a tough time with my husband or with something in my marriage, He asks me to think with humility and objectivity in the short term, and with hope and confidence in the long term.

Like how He gently reminds me not to make a mountain out of a molehill with regard to any challenge or frustrating situation or person or experience.

Looking to the Cross for balance is such a natural thing to do as a Christian. It's at the Cross that our suffering finds meaning, our joy finds perspective, and our hearts reconnect with the will of the Father in becoming the person He created each of us to be.

As always though: big talk, tough walk. But an honorable and right walk. A walk I'm trying to walk all the more because I'm talking about it on my blog. :)

Our Lady of Wisdom--pray for us!

Polar bear cubs in my house!

2012-01-10T17:46:00.002-06:00

I found these little cuties this morning when I was packing up the kids to go meet some friends at the park.;)

Four months, a tractor, my front porch, and a carousel

2012-01-08T14:55:00.001-06:00

Hi! My name is Faith. I smile all the time and I am pretty much the happiest baby on the block. My mom and dad love me so much, and don't I know it! My big brother sits on my head sometimes, but I know he's just kidding around. He loves me too. He kisses me good morning and goodnight, and he always makes sure to bring me my pacifier if he finds it lying around the house.

My grandma Lulu gave me a big box of headbands and bows for Christmas. The flower bows are kind of big and scary, but my mom shamelessly puts them on my head anyway because she is having so much fun dressing up a baby girl every day. I forgive her.

We are about to purchase a tractor for our business, CrossCutt. Gabe and Michael went to check it out on Saturday morning. I think Gabe approved.

The view I love the most is my front porch looking in...

A Saturday afternoon hanging out in the front yard with Faith while Michael and Gabriel did Man Work like cleaning out gutters. To my credit, I did pull weeds for a while before Motherly Duties called me to the rocking chair on the front porch. :)

My mom, my sister Rivers and I took Gabriel on his first carousel ride at the mall on the day before New Year's Eve. He was wide-eyed and skeptical when we first got on, but then he begged us to let him ride the carousel again afterwards! So we did. :)

Best date ever.

2012-01-04T22:36:00.002-06:00

When we were in New Orleans for Christmas, Michael and I rented motor scooters from a shop on Magazine Street and spent an entire afternoon zooming around the city together. We also got to meet up with some old friends, Frances and Sean, which was a treat! :)

When we first started dating, one of our first real dates was when we rented a motor scooter in the French Quarter and Michael took me around the city. I remember thinking, "I think I might marry this guy." :)

My mouth hurt a little that night from laughing and smiling so much all day on the scooters. We had SUCH A GREAT TIME. You could fit two people on one scooter--and the Lord knows I am more than happy to be a passenger instead of a driver--but I knew Michael would have much more fun on his own bike, so I told him I'd ride my own. I was nervous, but I caught on very quickly and ended up having a blast. The scooters only went 40mph tops, and I couldn't believe it when I started wishing they were a little bit faster a few times. We went to the French Quarter, Uptown, Downtown, City Park, St. Charles, the lakefront, Metaire--you name it. (Isn't it amazing that you can go all of those places in New Orleans without having to go more than 40mph?)

When I first got on the bike and was pretty nervous about the whole thing, Michael said, "Baby, just own it" And you know what? That's what I did. :) Trust me, if I can operate one of those things, I think almost anyone can do it.

Oh, those lovebirds.

Starbucks break near Audobon Park

Why so serious?

Buddies:)

On "the Fly" (park near Tulane/Loyola)

This Week (the post-Christmas edition)

2012-01-04T22:20:00.001-06:00

I didn't keep up with Humble Handmaid very well over the Christmas season. My apologies if any of my more faithful readers kept checking to see if I'd updated anything, and had to read the same thing e every time. (I'm probably speaking to about four people here, and you know who you are. Good thing I'm related to most of you so you probably know what a busy mess I was and have forgiven me already.:)

It's already Wednesday night, but I'll do a "This Week" post anyway and catch you up. The absolute highlight of my week so far was attending a women's Opus Dei Evening of Reflection on Tuesday night. These events are low-key, free, and open to everyone, I've been to three of them now and have really enjoyed them. I very much connect with the spirituality of Opus Dei: to seek and attain holiness through sanctifying the work of our everyday lives. St. Josemaria Escriva, who started Opus Dei in the 1920s, wanted to re-emphasize the fact that God calls all of us to strive for holiness--not just priests and religious.

The monthly Evenings of Reflection (they hold one in the morning as well) are like a mini retreat. There are two meditations by Opus Dei priests, and one talk by a lay member of Opus Dei. Confession and spiritual direction go on continuously during the evening. I really like how the meditations and talks are practical and down-to-earth. The talk on Tuesday night was on the virtue of sincerity, specifically sincerity in Confession and in spiritual direction. The speaker talked about being courageously, "savagely sincere"-- in examining your conscience and deeply reflecting and praying about your sins and their possible root causes, and in confession laying them out simply, without excuse, and without beating around the bush.

St. Josemaria Escriva

If you're in Houston, I highly recommend attending one of these sometime.

In other news, we are having some friends over to watch the BCS National Championship on Monday night. As LSU fans, we're very excited about the game. :)

Geaux Tigers!

I am trying hard to get into a good routine at home with the babies, but as a young mother of two-under-two, routine can be elusive! Faith started getting up once or twice a night again around Thanksgiving, and getting less sleep has definitely affected me over the last six weeks or so. I need and want so much to rise before my family, to have some reading/prayer time and to get a couple of things done to start the day smoothly for all of us (make Mike's lunch, start laundry, cook a decent breakfast), but getting out of bed on my own in the morning is so tough for me. Embarrassingly so.

On the breakfast note, I was talking to some college-aged friends of mine recently, and one of the guys was saying how "all we eat for breakfast is, like, just cereal, sometimes eggs or maybe a granola bar," and I thought to myself, That's all we usually eat...am I feeding my family college student breakfast...?!

So, a goal of mine is now to cook a hot breakfast twice a week for my boys.

My boys LOVE pancakes. So that's probably one of our weekly staples :)

I have been faithful to training for my 10K race in April (not that I'll be racing, haha), but I've only been able to manage twice a week--which is still something, I know. I've been using a great little iPhone app called Couch to 10K that is helping me train. Here's what one of the workouts looks like:

I still feel so far away from being able to run six miles, but I can't believe how much I've progressed since I started. I know I will get there. Now that I'm looking at the amount of time I have left to train, I'm pretty sure I need to step up jogging to three times per week, so I'm working on making that happen. Another reason I'm trying to get back to a more structured, disciplined routine of caring for my home and my family. Thanks for all of your prayers and encouragement, with special thanks to my husband Michael, who has been so wonderful in holding me accountable and encouraging me in this.

I feel especially joyful and thankful this week for my friends. I praise God for wonderful friends in whom I can confide and find some mutual encouragement! He has blessed me this past fall with several new kindred spirits in particular that I am incredibly thankful for. :)

2012-01-04T06:23:00.001-06:00

"Love God, serve God. Everything is in that." -St. Clare of Assisi

Hello again

2012-01-02T23:20:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year to all of my sweet readers!

Christmas travel and family time was lovely, but it was definitely time to go home by the end of the trip. Despite the fact that we truly had some of the most memorable, wonderful visits ever with our families and extended families, I will be honest about something: I was disappointed in my own experience and participation in the spiritual aspect of Christmas. It was great to travel to be with Michael and I's respective families for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I let hustle and bustle of family parties and constant travel (as our plans called for) almost completely distract me from any real reflection on the gift of Christmas.

Please forgive me for being away from the blog for a few weeks. Trust me, it's been harder on me than it's been on you. :) I love writing Humble Handmaid so much, and I get frustrated when I can't post because I'm too busy and too tired. I always have two or three blog posts swirling around in my head, it really blesses me to have a place to share my thoughts. It's discouraging when so often (read: all the time) I have to put my blog at the very bottom of a priorities list that never seems to get past cooking dinner and nursing the baby, but that's where I've discerned my blog belongs for the time being. I do feel a peace and a dignity about that--the fact that I'm making a conscious decision in my priorities, instead of being swept away into hysterics by worrying about getting everything done in the way I ideally want to get them done.

I may not be able to post blogs every day, but I do think--I do hope--that God wants me to continue to write my blog and share these little bits of my life's journey with you. Thanks for believing in me, for all of your encouragement, and--if you wouldn't mind when you think of me--your prayers.

Please also continue to read my posts every other Thursday on CatholicMom.com. :)

Peace be with you!

A worthy mission

2011-12-19T23:17:00.001-06:00

Anne and David Trufant, the owners of the summer camps where Michael and I met are the co-founders of a small organization called Change Lives Now. Michael and I were truly touched by the end-of-the-year letter we got in the mail this week from Change Lives Now, which related a few of the stories of children the group was able to help this year...very powerful.

If you have a moment, please check out this worthy organization's website and video. These are good people who saw a need, heard God's Call to help, and are doing something about it now, stuffing envelopes at their kitchen tables, working one-on-one with the people they help, and reaching into their own pockets to make sure they don't have to say no to someone in need.

A special donor is matching all donations to Change Lives Now through the end of the year, up to $10,000. Please consider supporting this worthy mission in faithful prayer or by a donation.
Precious smiles! Such joy--and all of these children have seen more ugliness and death than we can imagine.

Just enough grace for the step I'm on

2011-12-19T22:46:00.001-06:00

My friend Trey called me on Gabriel's 2nd birthday a couple of weeks ago and wished me a happy birthday--for my entrance into motherhood. Such a wise guy. :) It's been a wonderful two years, but motherhood definitely keeps me on my toes.

Gabriel is my darling love (and I tell him multiple times a day, usually accompanied by tickling and a bear hug), BUT he's such a handful lately.

I had the best chat today with my friend Katie at My life as a domestic diva. Before our conversation was abruptly ended by my 3-month-old deciding she was so-hungry-she-might-die-if-she-didn't-eat-RIGHT-THAT-SECOND, we had one of those fellow-mother-in-the-same-boat conversations. We talked about love, marriage, family, money--and discipline. All the fun stuff. But in an uplifting way.

We probably talked the longest about discipline, and what is working and what is not working with our toddlers.

Like so many phone calls of my life these days, I didn't have time to really finish the conversation today. But that's OK. It's not like we were 10 minutes away from figuring out the secret to disciplining two-year-olds r anything. Not even close. But I think we both walked away with an uplifted heart. So thanks for that my friend. :)

I've been struggling the most with patience lately, with being more lovingly persistent, more kindly stubborn, than an irrational, emotional little guy who is very good at persistence and stubborness. And whose whining (and running away, and hitting me, and throwing things, and dumping his milk cup on the couch) so easily triggers my nerves every day right now.

I've also been struggling with knowing which battles to choose, and where to set my standards. One one side there is the real-or-imagined pressure of "He's only two!". On the other side there is the thought that my two-year-old is now old enough (and has demonstrated so before now) to be expected to do or not do certain things he is directed by an adult in reasonable, discerned, appropriate situations.

So, yes, wisdom is quite a multiple-times-per-day prayer request for me. :)

I really believe that God will always give me enough grace for where I am in any moment--or any season--of my life. So when I trudge to daily mass, knowing that I'll stand in the back of the atrium the entire time and probably not hear a word of anything and will forget again to say "and with your spirit," I pray that God would either give me a cheerful, well-behaved toddler, or He would give me just enough grace to handle Gabriel when my son is acting less angelic than his heavenly namesake.

(Just so you know, I also pray that He'll help me work on not writing so many run-on sentences. My old English teachers would be horrified if they read my blog, I think. I'm surprised that my sweet grammar-loving friend Katie at Let my soul flower in thy sight hasn't dropped any hints yet. She's too nice for that though.:)

Amidst my struggles with parenting and marriage and whatever else I'm agonizing over at the moment, I am still trying very much to keep things in perspective; as they say, let's not make a mountain out of a molehill. Not that I'm always successful. :) If disciplining my generally-sweet-and-docile toddler is the biggest challenge in my life right now, then I need to stop and remember that (a) I'm super blessed in so, so, so many ways to even have that precious problem, and (b) If I'm truly agonizing over that, I'm not keeping my life, my faith, and the scope of eternity in proper perspective.

Easier said than done. Except when I get wake-up calls like the year-end letter from an organization we support, Change Lives Now. What good work, what needed work, what there-is-a-human-being-who-would-not-be-alive-right-now-without-their-help kind of work. Please check them out. :)

Gabriel's birthday party and some other photo goodies...

2011-12-13T21:06:00.000-06:00

Some snapshots from Gabriel's birthday party at the park:

Little Andrew is such a special guy :)

Beautiful Audrey Therese

The swing is a favorite

A noble profile

Gabriel's godmother, Lucy

Maya wrap mamas at Gabe's party (me with my friend Karen and her adorable baby Rachel)

Some random home silliness:

Gabriel is big on snuggling these days, especially with his baby sister

We're doing better with a spoon! He loved my white bean and rice dinner that night

It's a bishop, it's a pope, it's St. Nicholas--NO--it's my husband! Michael dressed up as St. Nicholas for some friends...and he looked awesome!!

Me and my sweet baby Faith

Our beautiful Christmas tree. When this picture was taken, the Star of Bethlehem had not yet been rigged up on top with a big rubber band.:)

Gabriel's great grandmother, Mema, sent his this adorable fleece cap with matching gloves. We opened the package the afternoon after his birthday party, though. I wish I would have had them for him for the party, since the party was outside and it was quite chilly most of the time!

Eating a chocolate monkey cupcake

Our new friend Alyson and her two-year-old, Pio Gabriel

Michael and our new friend Jesse, with little John Paul

Audrey and Gabriel

From Gabriel's godfather:)

2011-12-07T14:08:00.000-06:00

Adam Trufant, Gabriel's godfather, emailed us this poem for Gabriel from Thailand, where he has been traveling this fall. I couldn't help but share this with all of you...

Adam is the dapper guy in the bow tie on the right :)

Tremendous Two's!

Little brother, little one,

child growing in the Son,

in little ways does love begin,

little smiles, little friends.

Help these little loves to gather steam,

let them bloom in joy and peace,

grow to the little man you're meant to be,

Wild-Hearted, friendly, free!

And in your friendly freedom find,

the gift of giving heart and mind,

to help others in their lives

to have beauty, goodness, love divine!

Oh Yes! there is such room to grow!

Such laughs to laugh! Such friends to know!

You'll find the things worth dreaming of,

are little things done with great love!

I pray my God-Son be a Godly man,

that his life be guided by God's Hand,

So don't be scared as you turn two!

Our prayers help angels walk with you.

Gabriel's birthday breakfast

2011-12-07T08:38:00.002-06:00

Pancakes, bacon and fruit salad, oh my!

Confessions of a former mommy know-it-all

2011-12-06T23:35:00.002-06:00

Lately, I've been looking back on my not-married-no-kids self, my married-no-kids self, and my married-one-kid self. And I alternately have to laugh or cringe at some of my self-righteous, uncharitable assumptions about parents, and--I'm ashamed to say--plain old snobbery at times. Of course, I didn't dream I was any of those things at the time.

I realize now how hard I used to be on parents in general. Before I had Gabriel, I had spent all of my quite relatively young life observing parents, and I had all listed out in my head what I was going to take from them and what I was going to throw out with the trash. I felt "enlightened" by the parenting books I read and was also boosted by plenty of conversations with like-minded people.

But having Gabriel changed everything. And then having Faith changed everything again.

Now I'm the mom with the toddler pitching a temper tantrum in Walmart and randomly hitting other children in the face at play dates. I'm the one with the kid who throws food across the aisle and under the bench of the table beside us at the restaurant. I'm the one with the kid who loses his mind over not being able to bring his toothbrush outside. Not that he's like that every single day. The frequency of these kind of episodes is probably around the average for kids his age.

Because there IS an average. Because every single toddler does these things sometimes.

I am so humbled. Now, I understand that despite my best intentions, my late nights staying up reading parenting books and poring through blogs, my agonizing over the form and structure and consistency of my discipline, my ever daily prayers--despite all of that--toddlers will be toddlers, and babies will be babies. And no two are alike.

We parents and caregivers are all trying to do our best, and sometimes at the end of the day, we've done a great job parenting our children if they are alive, happy and healthy.

Every single child is different, and every family is different. Whatever works for your family, whatever keeps your home peaceful, your marriage strong, your children healthy and growing in grace and stature into the men and women God created them to be--that's all there is to it.

I truly strive now to be generous in thinking the best of people, in believing in their goodwill and their best intentions as parents. I don't give my thoughts or opinions readily unless I'm in the trenches kids' ages-wise with that person. I especially take care to do this if my opinions contradict views held by the person I'm talking to. Just like I'm not going to tell someone the best way to discipline a teenager (since I don't have one yet) I'm not going to give my two cents on how to potty train, since I'm not there yet either. Before I actually had a two-year-old, I never imagined how much patience, how much self-denial and sacrifice it takes to be the mother of one. A bad day for a two-year-old (and they all have bad days sometimes) can be a soul-refining experience.

Another rule of mine these days: I try not to be too sensitive about criticism of my parenting--real or imagined. This is a spiritual battle as well as an emotional one, since the line between sensitivity and pride is always a little fuzzy. :)

In the end, though, I hope that God permits real criticism of me once in a while. Or at least plenty of embarrassing temper tantrums in the middle of Walmart. (Did I really just type that?!)

Because no matter how many books I read or tapes I listen to or techniques I borrow from all the great parents I know (my own included), I will always need the reminder that I'll never have perfect kids or be the perfect parent.

My little boy turned two years old today, meaning I've been a mom for all of two years. What do I know?

Enough to know I don't know much at all. Enough to put my two babies to bed happy, healthy and (usually) clean. Enough to pray simply that the Lord will permit enough parenting challenges in my life to keep me humble, and enough grace to keep me going.

Birthday trip to Toys R Us

2011-12-06T17:54:00.001-06:00

Gabriel picked out an orange truck that launches a ball and a set of wooden musical instruments.

Overall not a terrible experience for our first trip to the toy store;)

Happy 2nd birthday Gabriel Adam!

This Week

2011-12-05T22:25:00.002-06:00

What's touching my heart and going on in my life this week...

I'm still working on training for my 10K race next spring. I am up to running all the way around my block and I've been doing walk-jog workouts 2-3 days per week. I am up to running a mile and a half. That's huge for me considering I couldn't even jog 1/6 of a mile to our mailbox when I started!

Michael dressed up in an amazing St. Nick costume on Monday night to deliver some surprise presents to the children of a friend of ours. Pictures coming as soon as I get them!

This Wednesday is Gabriel's 2nd birthday! We are taking him out to eat somewhere I think. On Saturday morning we are having a low-key cake-and-ice-cream party at the park behind our house. The weather should be lovely, so we're excited.

I haven't purchased a single Christmas gift yet, but I've picked out a few gifts and written them down. Gift-giving is one of the weakest of the love languages for me, so I'm ashamed to say that I tend to procrastinate for gift-giving occasions. (2012 New Year's Resolution: work on that!).

I'm trying to return to more discipline in my daily life. With two children under two, though, I've fought the realization that I need to give myself some more leeway. I still can't decide how much I'm willing to give myself. The fact is that I can't do everything cleaning-wise (and blogging-wise?) that I did before I had Faith. I just can't. I don't know what can/needs to take a hit though...

Just for fun, here's a delicious new white bean dish I got from my mom. I am not a huge bean fan, but I love these! Serve over some fluffy rice for a great winter meal :)

Colonel Vincent’s Southern Style Baked Beans
1lb Camellia Brand Navy (Pea) Beans or Great Northern Beans
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 bell pepper, chopped
1 ham bone
12 cups water
Salt and pepper to taste
Dash paprika
Dash garlic salt
3 Tbs tomato ketchup
2 Tbs Worcestshire sauce
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 lb sliced bacon

Directions:
Rinse and sort beans. Cover beans with water, add ham bone, onion, bell pepper, paprika, garlic salt, salt and pepper. Cook over low fire about 1-1/2 hours, or until tender. Remove ham bone. Add ketchup, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar, mixing lightly. Spoon half of the mixture in a baking dish, cover with ¼ pound sliced bacon. Spoon remaining half of the mixture into the baking dish and cover with remaining ¼ pound sliced bacon. Bake 1-1/2 to 2 hours in 350 degree oven.

Geaux Tigers!

2011-12-03T20:29:00.001-06:00

Catholics come home--why I love being Catholic

2011-11-30T21:39:00.001-06:00

I love this campaign and I'm so thrilled that the Church has put together such a well-produced, loving, and to-the-point message. It's much needed.

I know far too many people (many of them wonderful people and amazing Christians) with terrible misconceptions about Catholic teachings or even the Catholic religion as a whole. The tough part is that some of these people "grew up Catholic" and have simply written off the Church forever. I've met many people who had a bad experience with a particular person, parish or clergy member. Others have simply believed what people told them about Catholics and have simply never looked at what the Church actually teaches or the surprising (and beautifully, Biblically faithful) explanations behind those teachings. The toughest challenge for the Church is the very humanity of her members. People at every level of the Church have failed it and everyone around them throughout history, but the point is that the Church is still here. With the same teachings. The same call to support life in every way, to find ourselves in the cross of Christ, and to love one another in imitation of God.

I honestly, with-all-my-heart love being Catholic. Since I began to embrace the Church and its teachings in college, God has only brought me closer and closer to Himself and more and more to peace and purpose. The more I learn about my faith, the more I love it. I never cease to be awed by this institution that Christ created to help us know, love and serve Him. Despite all of the richness and complexity of the Church, the Church's teaching and tradition (if not always its human members) point always, always, always to Christ.

Please spread the word about this Website and campaign :)

This Week

2011-11-30T14:12:00.000-06:00

What's touching my heart and going on in my life this week...

"Come, Lord Jesus!" -Rev. 22:20

I'm so excited for the start of Advent this week. This year, I am trying to focus on all of the ways that Advent invites us to deep reflection, penance and joy in our life in Christ.

I'm also thankful for the very first week of the Church using the new translation of the mass--it's beautiful! Thank you Blessed Pope John Paul II for your vision and boldness in making such a major change. You truly let God work through your life to inspire an entire generation of Catholics. And dare I say that it was your pontificate that inspired so many of us to "wake up" to the awesome, solid teachings of the holy Church that Christ left us to help us know, love and serve Him.

The food co-op I'm doing has been going well. Last week, I had a bit of a flub because the soup I made was so spicy that you could practically use it like Tobasco sauce (my description, not theirs. They were too nice about it). After adding a little milk, it was edible though. This week it's been nice and safe--I made a winning pot of spaghetti and meatballs (thanks for the recipe Nicole!), salad and garlic bread on Monday, and they are bringing over lasagna and salad tonight. It's been working out well for me to have a meal brought to us on Wednesdays, because Thursday is always Family Dinner (I make or buy just one dish for that) and Fridays we generally have leftovers or pizza because we do Family Night at home and spend the evening hanging out with the kids and then watching a movie. So, I don't feel like I'm in the kitchen all the time. Nice. :)

Faith has refused to take bottles or pacifiers, and it's been starting to get a little tough. She is a week away from being three months old, and I've only been away from her for more than two hours one time (and it was a disaster for our poor babysitters and for Faith.) I know it's completely my fault for not introducing bottles frequently enough when Faith was younger. I've been working with her every day though, and yesterday she took an entire bottle and took a pacifier for a few minutes! I am going to continue to introduce a bottle to her every day until she is completely comfortable and familiar with them. I feel like being able to take an occasional bottle is a necessary skill for my babies. Besides several obvious reasons (like wanting to go on the occasional date with my husband), I want Faith to be comfortable with a bottle in case something happens to me.

I started lighting a little candle at meals--to Gabriel's delight. The candle helps to get his attention and to create some structure and routine for meals, which has helped me to stick to the little prayers and devotions I'm trying to incorporate at meals and all through the day. Lighting a candle has been helpful in teaching him manners, as well as patience in waiting to begin eating and finish eating. He also loves blowing the candle out. :)

I'm in Christmas music heaven! My favorite CD right now is Dave Barnes' Very Merry Christmas. He's got some classics as well as some beautiful original songs (my favorite is "Family Tree":). We are getting our tree on Wednesday evening, and I can't wait to finish decorating the house, inside and out. Such a wonderful time of the year!

Lately (The photo edition)

2011-11-20T06:43:00.002-06:00

I've been making more of an effort to take pictures of my family and chronicle little slices of our life--especially now that I have the nifty new Instagram app to play with! Enjoy;)

My daily joy

2011-11-16T20:49:00.001-06:00

Grasping for air, and remembering you said "yes" to a Keeper

2011-11-15T21:41:00.002-06:00

I was talking to a friend this morning about the tendency of (some? all? Just me?) women to constantly want to improve themselves and everything around them--especially when it comes to relationships and marriage.

I want so, so, SO much to have an AMAZING marriage, be an AMAZING mother, be an AMAZING servant of God. Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

I absolutely think our desire to improve ourselves, our spiritual lives, and all of our relationships (especially marriage!) is of God. However, I don't think it's healthy to never be able to rest right where we are for a moment.

It's definitely not a healthy everyday state of being for our marriages.

Michael and I have been watching a great DVD series by Dr. Emerson Eggerich called Love and Respect. (And yes, I'm the one who borrowed the DVDs from a friend and bugged Michael about listening to them, which the DVDs good-naturedly poke fun at me about:) Anyway, the DVDs talk about how men and women hear things very differently sometimes.

Something my friend and I discussed this morning was how we have realized that our husbands must constantly hear messages from us about how they are not "enough." That they aren't trying hard enough. That they don't care enough. About the marriage. About work. About parenting. About the house. About their spiritual life. About our spiritual life.

Despite our good-willed good intentions, our relentless grasping for the divine--however right and noble and inspired--may sometimes need to take a couch break.

Maybe literally.

When is the last time you stopped and snuggled on the couch with your husband, took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and thought to yourself, "I'm so thankful for this moment, for this man, for where God's brought us, for where He's taking us, for this happily-ever-after, ordinary, quiet moment with the love of my life." Or something like that. :)

I need to schedule one of those sometime soon.

As Thanksgiving approaches, my resolution is to be more restful in my marriage and in my spiritual life. God will be faithful to my prayers, and He will give me all the grace I need to grow into the person He made me to be. While He's working on me, I'm going to work on making sure I take more couch breaks with my great hubby.

I said "yes" to a Keeper after all. :)

The night we got engaged (May 2, 2007)

Is joy worth the effort of trust?

2011-11-15T14:42:00.001-06:00

My friend Lucy recently sent me a passage about trust from One Thousand Gifts, a beautiful book by Ann Voskamp.

I don't know why it's so true for me that succombing to some level of anxiety and stress is so much easier than keeping my peace and trusting in my all-powerful, almighty, all-knowing Creator.

From One Thousand Gifts:

Belief is a verb, something that you do.

Then the truth is that authentic, saving belief must be also? The very real, everyday action of trusting.

Then a true saving faith is a faith that gives thanks, a faith that sees God, a faith that deeply trusts? ... That's my daily work, the work God asks of me? To trust. The work I shirk. To trust in the Son, to trust in the wisdom of this moment, to trust in now. And trust is that: work. The work of trusting love. Intentional and focused. Sometimes, too often, I don't want to muster the energy. Stress and anxiety seem easier. Easier to let a mind run wild with worry than to discipline, to reign her in, slip the blinders on her and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the spectors looming ahead. Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God? To stay in love? I don't like to ask these questions, sweep out these corners where eyes glare from shadows. But this I must ask and I do, out loud...isn't joy worth the effort of trust?

Because I kid no one: stress brings no joy.

This week

2011-11-14T21:34:00.002-06:00

What's touching my heart and going on in my life this week...

I'm starting a one-day-a-week food co-op with another family this week. I will cook and deliver dinner to them one day a week, and they'll deliver dinner to us one day a week. I made a way-too-labor-intensive meal for my first night though (tonight). I'll be checking out blogs like A Year of Slow Cooking for some good ideas for crock pot meals.

I'm taking a break for a couple of weeks from coffee, chocolate and most dairy. I have a suspicion that my consumption of these three wonderful things is behind Faith's tummy issues lately.

I've been working on putting more Scripture and family prayer into our daily life. I read a post over the weekend at Joyful Mothering that spoke a lot to me. :)

I've been agonizing this week especially over the number of catch-up phone calls and thank you notes I'm behind on. I feel like I work hard every single day and give so much to my family, and it's frustrating to not have time to love on all of the other important people in my life who just don't happen to be a part of my daily life...I pray that God will continue to guide me on my use of time. I have no idea if I've used every minute of my time this year as He wanted me to, but I've tried my best. Discernment of God's will for your time is an imperfect process. At least for me.

Some good reading

2011-11-14T20:59:00.000-06:00

I've been finding so many awesome new blogs lately...here's a sampling :)

Grace Full Mama http://gracefullmama.com/
Joyful Mothering http://joyfulmothering.net/

A Holy Experience http://www.aholyexperience.com/
Raising Arrows http://www.raisingarrows.net/
The Better Mom http://www.thebettermom.com/
Doorposts of Your House http://www.doorposts.com/blog/

The apostolate of friendship

2011-11-09T22:50:00.003-06:00

My two-month-old daughter and I attended a short morning retreat this past week, and while a nursing infant isn't exactly the most helpful partner on a retreat, it's amazing how God made sure I did get to hear something that He wanted to put on my heart.

One of the meditations was on the works of mercy, and the woman giving the talk spoke briefly about "the apostolate of friendship," the ministry that God calls all of us to within our community of friends.

The term "apostolate of friendship" really put into words some things I've learned and experienced about friendship over the past few years. One of the biggest blessings in my life here in Houston is our amazing, ever-growing community of friends. We celebrate together, eat together, grieve together, play together, and with certain friends have the intimate, joyful bond of praying together. I feel so blessed to have this community, since I didn't know a single person when Michael and I arrived in Houston three-and-a-half years ago!

God puts people into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Moving to Houston and experiencing the process of making friends made me take more seriously the people He slowly brought into my life here. I will never forget how a few of those people reached out to me in friendship. And I will never forget the few friendships that God called me out of my comfort zone to initiate!

I am no expert in friendship, but I can tell you from my short experience of life that God wants all of us to take a more studied look at the friends and friendly acquaintances that God has put into our lives. Being God's hands and feet in the world comes into play with our family, friends and acquaintances. Be truly faithful in praying for the intentions of your friends. Make meals when new babies come or when tragedies befall them. Meet your neighbors. Make time for Skype or phone "dates." Send an encouraging note, email or text. Invite an acquaintance over for a play date or dinner. Be attentive enough to notice when someone is having a tough day. Treat a friend to a latte. Get a group of people together to help someone with big home projects or a move.

Thinking about friendship as an apostolate also put something else on my heart this week: how lonely motherhood can be, with or without a strong community of friends around you. It's so easy to become lonely in motherhood, no matter if we're working or at home full-time. I've been there. I am still challenged by loneliness sometimes. Children take up so much of our time and energy, and it can be such a feat sometimes to even leave the house. It's also easy to get wrapped up in our own group of friends, and not to be as open as we should to meeting new people or nurturing new friendships. It can also be incredibly intimidating to try to make friends when you're the new mom on the block. I've been on both sides of that though. It is such an amazing feeling when someone reaches out to you, but it's a lot harder for some of us to take the initiative and reach out ourselves as a leader in friendship. It's also hard for some of us to step out of our comfort zone and take someone up on their offer of friendship.

I know it's more challenging for some of us to make friends than others. I'm married to guy who has never met a stranger and for whom making friends is as easy as breathing. I'm jealous of that wonderful quality of his in the best way possible. :) But no matter how introverted or shy you are, you have to reach out of yourself a little. Accept someone's offer to get together sometime. Ask to exchange cell phone numbers or email addresses. Maybe you need to talk to your priest about starting a mom's group at your parish. Or find and "friend" someone first on Facebook. Or create a Facebook event to organize a play date at the park. Or bake cookies and send a short a note to an acquaintance who was having a tough day the last time you talked to them.

Just because you may live in an area that doesn't have a lot of people your age or state in life, just because you're new in town, just because all of your friends have moved away or are too busy to spend time with you anymore...don't let excuses, however good they are, keep you from letting God make you bloom where you're planted and let His kindness, thoughtfulness, and love shine through you. Because you have been planted, and that's a fact. No matter where God has placed you, God has good work for you to do, and that work involves others. It may be a small group of people, or you may find yourself in the midst of the blessing of a much larger community. I don't think that God needs us to be friends with everybody, but He certainly means us to develop friendships with somebody. :)

If I may humbly submit, I get to write all of this that because I, for one, am not a natural extrovert. :) Ask my parents, my siblings, and my childhood friends. I wouldn't say I'm exactly an extrovert now; I'm just sort of an enlightened introvert by the grace of God. I think that many experiences God has brought into my life have helped me to break out of my shell a little. (Being married to my outgoing husband has certainly been one of them!)

Blessed John Paul II, when asked the best way to grow in one's faith, said, "The best way to grow in your faith is to give it away." I think the same idea applies to friendship. :)

So how's your interior life?

2011-11-07T22:51:00.001-06:00

If someone paid me a million dollars per week to not be snippy with my husband or lose my temper with my toddler ever, I think I could do it. And so could most of us I think.:)

When it comes to getting through the little (and bigger) challenges of everyday life as God calls us to, maybe we just lack incentive sometimes. :) I think that a major part of the kind of incentive that I, for one, need, is a strong interior life. For me, having a strong relationship with God is a constant reminder of how worthy He is of my love, my faithfulness, and also my sacrifice. I shouldn't need a million dollars to help me seek holiness in my daily life.

Big talk. Tough walk.

While writing this blog post tonight, I stumbled upon this helpful passage on Wikipedia (of all places) about the concept of the interior life. The passage quotes Blessed John Paul II:

The interior life is "a life which seeks God in everything, a life of prayer and the practice of living in the presence of God. It connotes intimate, friendly conversation with Him, and a determined focus on internal prayer versus external actions, while these latter are transformed into means of prayer. According to John Paul II, Jesus' statement 'without me you can do nothing' (John 15:5) is a truth that 'constantly reminds us of the primacy of Christ and, in union with him, the primacy of the interior life and of holiness."

My interior life hasn't been what it should be for a little while now. Part of that certainly has to do with the fact that I had a baby about nine weeks ago, with all of the transition and upheaval that generally accompanies precious new babies. And that's OK. :) Not that I haven't been praying a lot. I think that most mothers with new babies do quite a lot of that. It's just that I haven't kept God quite at the center of my life as much as He has asked me to.

These last weeks--and honestly, the past 48 hours in particular, have reminded me that I can't hold things together by myself. Not even a little bit. The verse in John 15:5, roughly translated to my life, says, "I need God's grace just to get out of bed in the morning." And I do, most days. Probably every day.

Even though many days, I ask God to just help me make it through the day, I know I'm called to more. I'm glad I'm called to more. I don't want to just "make it" through motherhood and parenting young children in this season of my life. I want to do an amazing job! And coming to know, love and serve God more fully each day in my vocation--growing in holiness--is part of that.

I think that God has a different spiritual walk planned for each of us. I think that the passage above does a good job of generalizing what a dynamic interior life looks likes: intimate, friendly conversation with Him, with a determined focus on internal prayer versus external actions...these latter are transformed into means of prayer."

Big talk. Tough walk.

It's hard to remember I'm trying to be a holy woman when I'm about to explode with frustration at Gabriel after a tough morning at mass (or at breakfast). Or when I'm having a painful disagreement (about the same thing we disagreed about last week and the week before that:) with my husband. The unglamorous labors of my daily life don't seem like the best birthplace for the world's newest saint-in-training. But I'm going with it. Call me idealistic. Call me unrealistic.

But if everyone in the world was trying to be a saint, the world would be a much, much different place.

2011-11-07T22:16:00.001-06:00

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. -St. Francis de Sales

2011-11-07T09:30:00.001-06:00

Rough morning at mass;( two year olds and hungry babies and mass is quite a volatile mix.

2011-11-06T15:53:00.001-06:00

CSI needs to hire my son as a set designer. They should see what he can do with a bottle of bright red nail polish in my bathroom. Argh :(

Lately

2011-11-06T15:10:00.002-06:00

If you follow me on Facebook, you have probably seen all of these pictures and videos over the last couple of weeks or so. I feel like I've "discovered" my iPhone over the past six months, and lately I've been posting updates and photos to Facebook to the point where I probably need to abstain from using it periodically to nip in the bud any inordinate attachment. :)

Even if you've seen some of these before, however, I personally think that several of these are definitely cute enough to look at over and over and over and over again. And put as my desktop background. And email to the grandparents. Twice.

Snug as a bug on her very first "cold" day (it was in the 50's and 60's)

That face.

Tummy time!

We attended a Halloween-themed birthday party for a little one-year-old friend of ours, Evelyn Rose. Faith wore a little pumpkin onesie that someone gave us, and was mistaken for a baby boy about five times because I forgot the humongous black bow I had to help with her outfit's gender-neutral faults. I didn't take offense though. :)

I love her in purple.

Bright eyes

Gabriel LOVES the old baby swing we put up in the backyard. He wants to swing in that thing all the time.

Yes, I know I am slightly obsessed with taking pictures of my baby girl. I'm still in the I-can't-help-myself stage. My apologies :)

2011-11-05T23:10:00.001-05:00

Goodnight;) LSU beat Bama. Babies ate sleeping. I drained my margarita and spent a great evening with friends.

Priorities check.

2011-10-25T22:08:00.001-05:00

In prayerfully considered order, starting anew each morning, and keeping in touch with the promptings of the Holy Spirit throughout the day:

1. PRAYER

2. PERSON

3. PARTNER

4. PARENT

5. PROVIDER

"I have just enough time today to do what God needs me to do today."

Family outing

2011-10-23T21:14:00.001-05:00

On Saturday afternoon, we decided to take an impromptu trip to Galveston with the kids, and we had a blast!

We met up for a while with our friends Peter and Kristin, who were spending the weekend on the island, and we walked around the Strand with them for a while. The Strand is sort of like the touristy downtown of Galveston. It's come a long way since it was devastated by Hurricane Ike in 2008.

For some reason I was feeling super-confident in motherhood yesterday, because I barely batted an eye when I had to nurse Faith with just a blanket on the steps of a windy open square with dozens of people walking around and eating nearby. I also didn't bat an eye when I changed Gabriel's epic poopy diaper in a corner and then showed Gabriel how to throw it in the dog poop container.

With Gabriel, I would never have dared to nurse or change a dirty diaper like that...out in The Open that is. I guess Baby #2 has seasoned me a bit.

Isn't this a darling baby?! She is so alert and sweet--what a joy she is to us.

My family :)

Family photo! Notice the Football Hold I'm doing with Faith. She loves being held like that.

After we finished walking around the Strand, we dropped Peter and Kristin off at their hotel and went to our favorite restaurant in Galveston, The Spot. We didn't manage to score an ocean view table (because the place was packed), but we did get a nice little corner table near the exit, which proved to be a blessing when Faith woke up hungry and we had to make a quick getaway!

After we made it out of The Spot, we ended up parking the van on the seawall by the beach so that I could feed my fussy (and actually constipated I think) Faith. Michael and Gabriel sat on the ledge and had some good father-son time.

It felt great to get out with both kids and have a little adventure of an evening!

Letter from the trenches

2011-10-21T15:02:00.000-05:00

Young parenthood has been a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows, joys and challenges that have refined my soul just a little bit more. Of course, that's for me to (dare) hope and for God to judge. :) Despite it being so tough sometimes, I have had many older women smile and get that far-away look in their eyes when they talk about when they had babies and young children. Almost all of them have told me, in one form or another, that these are some of the best days of my life.

On tough days, I wonder how they could have forgotten how infuriating it is to want just TWO MINUTES ALONE to pee without a toddler skipping around at your feet and trying to grab the plunger and extra toilet paper roll off the rack.

On better days, I just respond with a smile, "I know."

This past week the kids and I were stricken (Oh, what a perfect use of that word!) with a nasty cold that threw me headfirst into Mommy Survival Mode. Taking care of a newborn and a young toddler by myself isn't exactly easy on the best of days; with Mommy running on empty and both kids battling a cold, it can be really, really rough.

During the worst of it, I felt like I was in a one-woman losing battle, huddled in the metaphorical trenches of motherhood. Hygiene went down the drain. As did a lot of cough drops.

Even when I'm not sick, young parenthood is tough. I struggle every single day with parenting my sweet, adorable, illogical, emotional 23-month-old. I lose my temper with him far more often than I'd like to admit. I fight loneliness often as I clean up crumbs and throwup and dishes and diapers and muddy Crocs and spilled milk. I battle secret thoughts of ditching my house--alone!--to go get a pedicure, pick up a frappucino, buy a new book from Barnes and Noble, then find a breezy, shady tree by a lake for a little reading and a NAP.

And yet in the midst of all this, God strings me lovingly along by sending me sweet moments to get me through and remind me that I'm where I'm supposed to be. He sends those kinds of moments that sparkle and shine forward into the beautiful memories held dear by our mothers and grandmothers.

Memories like today, when I put on the radio and waltzed Faith to sleep after lunch in the living room, while Gabriel had the time of his life making a game out of chasing my dancing feet so he could catch them and give them kisses.

Or every day, when Gabriel runs screaming and laughing at full-speed to the front door when he hears his Daddy coming home from work.

Or when Gabriel "goes to work" with his Daddy, feeling so obviously important and needed as he rides on Michael's lap on the ZTR with his little blue Spiderman sunglasses and ear guards and camo pants.

Or when we spend a lazy Sunday afternoon (and first cool afternoon of Faith's life!) drinking Cokes and watching the air show at nearby Ellington Field from our front yard.

On tough days, I can sometimes hate making myself pick up my head from the trenches to admit that it's not all bad. That parenthood is one of the most wonderful and beautiful and fulfilling things I've ever done. It's easier to roll in the mud when you're down than to get up and start cleaning yourself off.

As I finish this post, both kids are waking up from a nap. Both are hungry. Both are whiny. I didn't get a nap because I decided to finally get on my laptop and get this blog post out of my head.

Oh well.

After snacktime (and Second Lunch for Faith), I think I might take a walk in the park this afternoon. After all, it's a beautiful day. :)

I'll be back

2011-10-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

I've had a few people ask me when Humble Handmaid is going to get back online. The answer is...as soon as I can!

Traveling, sickness, and general new baby craziness has put a damper on blogging. I have so many blog posts rolling around in my head right now...thoughts and reflections and questions and funny stories and ideas. And hopefully most of them will resurface once I can find a new routine of sorts and fit blogging back in to my life a little more. I miss it!

In the meantime, make sure to follow me on Facebook . I'm on Facebook a lot more now because I have an iPhone, and because I can play on my iPhone while I'm nursing all day (and all night sometimes).

Blessings on you and yours :)

My little pumpkin

2011-10-17T14:13:00.001-05:00

Faith has a little cold right now, but is cheerful and smiley as ever. She is the most good-natured almost-six-week-old you've ever met.

It's been a tough last few days with her mommy being sick, but the good news is she blessed me by sleeping GREAT at night lately;)

Tupperware tantrums

2011-10-10T13:41:00.001-05:00

Eating leftovers so much for the past month has made me realize I have a little problem in my home. Fighting almost daily with a grouchy husband who can't find the right Tupperware to pack his lunch got really old!

You know, I guess that when you are the only person in the house who can stand to venture into your Tupperware cabinet, it's time to make some changes.

And when your Tupperware collection is literally famous among friends and family for it's matter-of-a-fact disorder, it's time to make some changes.

I read a blog recently that had a great idea for taking charge of magically-multiplying, mismatched Tupperware. You use a sharpie to code each container and matching top with letters or numbers. You then make sure that you keep the tops stacked in numerical/alphabetical order to make it easy to find the top for a chosen container.

Last Thursday, I had a little down time while Michael took Gabriel outside to help load equipment onto the landscaping trailer. As soon as Gabe was out the door, I was taking out all of my Tupperware before I could even think, "a nap would be nicer..."

After I dumped every piece of Tupperware I had onto my kitchen table, it only took about 20min (with some interruptions!) to do all the number labeling and then return everything--newly organized--back to the cabinet.

What a great feeling! 20 minutes wasn't so bad. I procrastinated on this project like it was going to take me two hours!

Babies make me smile

2011-10-10T13:30:00.001-05:00

Some of the people Faith got to meet this weekend...

Explosions

2011-10-05T02:42:00.001-05:00

Right before dinner last night, Faith threw up what seemed like her body weight in milk. It just kept coming and coming and coming, warm but tickly as it trickled down my soaked shirt into my belly button.

The best part is that I barely batted an eye. I just stood there for a moment, plotted out my plan of action, then got to it.

I feel like I got lucky and happened to be standing in a scattered shower of Heavenly grace.

I love when that happens.

The picture is of Faith right after her emergency bath.

A sunshine of God's love

2011-10-03T17:32:00.002-05:00

"A joyful heart is like a sunshine of God's love." -Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

This is an amazingly happy baby. What did I do to deserve this? ;)

Well hello again, St. Therese

2011-10-02T14:21:00.001-05:00

When I was in college, I hosted a girls' group at my apartment each Thursday night. We took turns presenting and then leading a discussion on different topics each week.

As I sat down this afternoon to pray and do some spiritual reading, I had the sudden urge to pray through journaling, so I picked up an old notebook I've been using for a few months now. The notebook happens to be one that I used briefly for my girls' group in college in the fall of 2007.

When I opened this notebook today to journal, I accidentally didn't open to one of the pages toward the end of the notebook; I opened to a long entry I had written to prepare for a girls' group presentation on St. Therese of Lisieux that I did in honor of her feast day, Oct. 1. The journal entry was from Oct. 2, 2007--four years to the day today. I had copied out many quotes from Story of a Soul, and the page I opened to had a quote that spoke to my heart immediately:

"To remain a little child before God is to recognize our nothingness, to expect everything from God as a little child expects everything from its father; it is to be disquieted about nothing, and not to be set on gaining our living."

When He wants to be, God is amazingly clear with me. And he loves to use goosebump-inducing coincidence to get my attention.

As you know from my previous post, I've been experiencing the frustration and discouragement of a little spiritual dryness lately, coupled with some anxiety about challenges I'm going through right now. Especially with a precious newborn in the house, the reminder to go before my God "as a little child" is well-timed for me!

I'd like to share some of the book quotes and personal reflections from that journal entry. I could type for hours about how each of these quotes applies to my spiritual life right now, but I'll show some restraint. :) I hope that one or more of these may speak to something going on in your lives!

"Dry prayer or distance from God is sometimes necessary in His will. Sometimes He can only work on us when we're "asleep."

"Just as in nature all the seasons are arranged in such a way as to make the humblest daisy bloom on a set day, in the same way everything works out for the good of each soul."

"All the flowers He has created are beautiful. How the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not take away the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understand that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers. And so it is in the world of souls, Jesus' garden. He willed to create great souls comparable to the lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God's glances when He looks down at His feet. Perfection exists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be."

St. Therese is a wonderful friend and intercessor for us in Heaven. She is a special saint that I think I will study and also ask for assistance much more often from now on. Her writings and example remind me so much to put simplicity and trust back into my prayer. And I have a feeling she is particularly ready and eager to pray for me and for all of us here on earth.

After all, she always said that her dream was to "spend my heaven doing good on Earth." :)

St. Therese, pray for us!

Spiritual dryness

2011-09-30T20:08:00.001-05:00

I loved this post today by Melody at Blossoming Joy.

I've been dealing with a bit of spiritual dryness myself this week. I connected so much with Melody's humility and desire to reunite with Christ in the midst of the sort of nothing's-really-wrong-but-I'm-just-not-on-a-mountaintop-right-now spiritual dryness that we all go through from time to time. I think this post is such a down-to-earth example of how, as a woman, our spirit can be so willing, but our flesh so weak!

(Her "Happy Meal box" metaphor is brilliant, by the way. Enjoy :)

Dry as Dust...
Just put one foot in front of the other, dear Mama. Such is the sage advice that I offer to myself this fine day. It's not that life is particularly difficult right now. I'm not depressed, injured, ill or unusually anxious. Just a little flat on emotional enthusiasm... which probably just means that I'm busy and tired.

I approach the keyboard and nothing flows. It's not that I'm not thinking; I'm just not thinking well. I approach my planner and am not inspired to fill it. I step onto the court to start playing the game and immediately wonder how long it will take to conclude. I approach the sewing machine... and then walk away. I approach the stove and wonder why the food looks so unappetizing ...

I approach my God and take it one slow step at a time, apologizing for my lack and asking Him to pull me through the strangely arduous task of spending time with the Him; the Beloved.

But again, it would be a mistake to say that I am unhappy or depressed right now. I'm fine although perhaps a little tired. I remember those times when the Presence of God was something I felt in my very bones and I sigh wistfully. I am not whining loudly but I have a small complaint embedded in my heart; like the little girl who used to feel wronged by the world when she was permitted to have a burger, fries and a drink... but not in a happy meal box.

The Chief and I were walking and talking recently about the crush of worldliness in our lives. He feels it in a particularly strong way as he juggles the obligations and responsibilities of family and the demands of his job. It's like having two families, he said. So we walk and talk and reconnect. We have established a weekly date night where we play volleyball together and burn off a little steam and laugh together. And then yesterday morning he fell down the stairs.

It was a short set of stairs that he approached carelessly early in the morning. A few bandaids and a broken toe later, he is fine but frustrated. "Like a big paper cut" he says. "Not the worst thing that could happen but terribly annoying." He doesn't know how good and healing it is for me to walk with him alone in our neighborhood and how very hard it was to set that aside when my own toe was broken. And he doesn't realize how all of my desire to play volleyball tonight just disappeared since he won't be there. And so I whine for those preferences even as I sit at his strong and loving side while he ices his blackening toe.

It seems that when we start to step away from God a little, He allows it to progress to an uncomfortable point so that we are faced with a choice. Do we muster up the courage and energy that we barely have to call out to Him again? Or do we let it all slip away like sand? I think choosing a life of faith and love can slip away as easily as that. We are tired. We are bored. We stop praying. We stop thinking. We have a dry day. A dry week. A dry year. A broken toe. A broken heart. A preference that becomes larger than our love.

Lord, I can feel myself slipping. Thank you for letting me see it. It is time to stand up in your grace and fight for the Life that You have given to me. I just need a moment... one moment to rest...

Of course, if I take that moment, I will take another. And another. Now is the moment of grace. Just like every moment. Starting again like a baby, I will need His hand for every step.

God forgive me for whining about my happy meal box when I have everything I need and everything You desire to give me... which is enough.

Confidence

2011-09-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

Confidence. That's been the word on my heart these past few days.

When Michael and I moved to Houston after we got married, we became friends with an amazing young Catholic couple, Matt and Lucy Coles. When we met them, Matt had been battling a non-smoker's lung cancer for three years. The cancer had spread to dozens of painful tumors throughout his body by the time he passed away at 28 years old in December 2010, leaving Lucy and three little sons--the youngest just two weeks old. Despite the fact that Matt had a decidedly terminal illness, I have never met a stronger, more joyful, more confident man in my life.

Matt lived out a joyful confidence in God's love and provision that is almost indescribable. From working full-time to provide for his family, to painstakingly researching and preparing natural foods and healing treatments for himself, to trusting that God would provide new vehicles and appliances when theirs broke, Matt never seemed to skip a beat in trusting that God would provide the grace and resources he and his family needed.

Our friend Matt walked with a confidence that Michael and I are inspired by now more than ever. The recent birth of our beautiful baby girl, Faith, has coincided with some financial and personal challenges for our family. We chose Faith's name because we have already been challenged in several ways this year to trust God more fully, and now it seems that God has chosen to permit more challenges in our lives to grow us even closer to Him.

Our society's New Age self-help culture tells us that "we have everything we need inside," that "we just have to find and unleash the goddess in ourselves!" and that "we just have to believe in ourselves, and we can do anything!"

That message of inflated self confidence and self-reliance is ultimately false and defeating. Instead of walking with total confidence in ourselves, I think life is about learning to walk with total humility, knowing that we're weak, knowing that we need God in every step on the specific path of life He created for each of us. And trusting with all our hearts that He's going to provide for us, and that "all things work for the good of those who love the Lord, who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." -Proverbs 3:5-6

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:6-9

Here's to the kind of confidence displayed by the Proverbs 31 woman, who is "clothed in strength and dignity, [and] laughs at the days to come." As your humble handmaid, Lord, let it be done unto me according to your will.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

2011-09-26T13:08:00.000-05:00

I'm. in. love.

she kind of looks like a bodybuilder here, especially with the striped onesie-dress, but that's OK. :)

Weekly Highs and Lows

2011-09-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

Highs

...I had the pleasure of visiting with several friends this week. It was good for my soul to get out of the house! Thank you Suzie, Lucy, Julie, Stephanie and Kristen for good company, encouragement and conversation this week.

...We settled on a date for Faith's baptism, as well as a date for a trip back "home" to Louisiana to visit family and friends. I can't wait!

...Colin gave Gabriel a little Drew Brees Saints jersey, and we taught Gabriel how to say, "Who dat!?" He was super cute!

...I've been enjoying my little daughter so much! Her littleness, her sweet temperament--even nursing her! She is such a darling little blessing. :)

...Gabriel has started being sweet to his sister. What a special moment!

Lows

...Gabriel has been a challenge for us this week. I really floundered a few times over the past few days, all during times I was handling both babies by myself and he was behaving badly. By "flounder," I mean I really lost my composure with Gabriel several times, yelling and/or spanking him and/or simultaneously bursting into tears.
...Gabriel has been especially difficult for Michael and me at bedtime and during the night, refusing to go to bed, waking up hysterical during the night and refusing to go back to sleep. We need some prayers!

O me of little Faith

2011-09-22T22:12:00.000-05:00

It's 9:28 p.m.

To blog or shower? Or go to sleep and try to get in a few minutes of rest before the next feeding?

Tonight I decided to blog and shower. (Maybe I'll get in a few minutes of sleep if I type quickly!)

I am still heartily enjoying my precious newborn baby, but I'm starting to battle a bit of the baby blues I think. I think that my lack of sleep lately has started to wear me down at this point. I have been incredibly blessed to be able to nap almost every day, but overall my body is definitely protesting the loss of uninterrupted sleep at night.

Add to this the fact that little Gabriel has been painfully needy and whiny lately.

I am praying right now for the grace to walk this time in my life like the famous "Proverbs 31 woman," who is "clothed with strength and dignity; [and] can laugh at the days to come" (Proverbs 31:25). (I laugh at the "laugh at the days to come" part almost every time. What a challenge!)

As for strength, I feel like a total wimp at least once each and every day right now. Having children is an instant, demanding, compelling lesson in unselfishness. Raising little ones is a constant demand on your time, energy, mind and body, and it can be exhausting! It can also be humbling.

Make that it also is humbling.

I've been struggling with that aformentioned "wimp" feeling because I feel like I should be trusting God more, that I shouldn't be so overcome by one whiny toddler and one hungry two-week-old. Maybe God wants me to feel overwhelmed a little though, to remind me that I need Him and that I can't do a single thing well without Him. Laura Story's song "Blessings" is on the radio a lot right now, and the chorus always gets me:

"What if your blessings come through raindrops?/

What if your healing comes through tears?/

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?/

What if the trials of this life are your blessings in disguise?"

Despite it all, I do definitely feel the dignity of the Proverbs 31 woman. I am blessed to have a family and community that has made me feel beautifully noble and respected as a mother, by their words and actions. The encouragement of that community and especially all of the help with meals during the last two weeks have been wonderful. I want to write everyone a long and special thank you note--when I get some time! :)

It's 10:15 p.m. This blog post unfortunately shows that I apparently would rather shower and blog than write those thank you notes. If you're reading this and you're a friend or family member who dropped off a precious meal for us, please bear with me in the days to come. And consider laughing with me too. :)

Angel baby

2011-09-18T02:58:00.001-05:00

So far, Faith has been a real angel baby! What a lovely blessing and a sweet new spirit in our family. She had her days and nights figured out from birth, I think, which has been a sort of best case scenario for me and nighttime sleep. I'm still tired much of the time, but not desperately so.

Faith also has the most easygoing disposition I've ever seen in a newborn. The only thing that upsets her is delay in getting her food, and perhaps a couple of times she fussed for a few seconds in her bouncer to let us know she was ready for a quieter nap in the crib.

Honest.

I've only very rarely had to drag out my "5 S's" over the last 11 days. ("Happiest Baby on the Block" reference)

I've had the best time dressing Faith. Little dresses and bows and booties are so fun! I feel so blessed that we have not had to buy a single item of clothing for Faith so far. We have had several thoughtful friends and coworkers pass on bags of beautiful clothes from their own little girls.

Gabriel had definitely been acting more needy since we brought Faith home. There have been a handful of times when I've been nursing that Gabriel has had major, ugly temper tantrums. ;( it's toughest when both babies are crying!!!

Overall, however, we are all adjusting beautifully. My energy and cheerfulness are on the rise as I have lost some baby weight already and feel so much better physically.

I've even been out to the park and to visit Michael at work in our awesome new double stroller, a phil&ted's Classic.

Lately...

2011-09-12T21:50:00.003-05:00

Lately, I've been adjusting to having my heart grow so much bigger in such a short time that it has nearly taken my breath away. :) I'm in love with my little girl and I honestly haven't desired to do much else other than nurse her and snuggle with her!

Holding my little Faith about 10 seconds after she came out! My delivery was an incredible experience this time around...amazing!

Faith and her Daddy

Our first family photo!

My mom has been a HUGE blessing for the past week with cleaning, running errands, and watching Gabriel. She is supposed to leave tomorrow or Wednesday, and I'm already so sad just thinking of her leaving. Gabriel is such a handful, and it's been wonderful to have her help me love on him this week as we're all adjusting to having a new family member. Gabriel can tell that something is new, but he doesn't know what. He is acting out just the slightest bit more to get attention I think. I want to make sure that Gabriel feels just as loved as ever, and that we give him enough positive attention--the kind where we sit down and read and play Legos and count Cheerios and aren't just talking to him when we're correcting him.

My awesome mom :)

Introducing Faith Lucia

2011-09-10T13:58:00.003-05:00

She's here!

Faith Lucia Franco was born (on her due date!) on Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 2:20pm. She was 7lb, 8oz and by all accounts was the picture-perfect healthy term baby!

We truly had a happy labor and delivery (as "happy" as labor gets, anyway:), and Michael and I could both feel the prayers of family and friends giving us extra grace and courage!

Faith's birth was definitely a better and more joy-filled experience than Gabriel's birth was. One part of that was that I had, in fact, been through labor before, and I knew what to expect and how to handle it. The other part of that was that I was much, much better rested for my labor with Faith. With Gabriel, I went into labor at 8pm on a Sunday night after a long, busy day. I had Gabriel at lunchtime the next day, and didn't sleep until after that! I had my first Get-Your-Attention-and-Start-Timing contraction for Faith at 7:15 a.m. after a full night of sleep (well, as good of sleep as you get at 9 months pregnant). Our roommate, Colin, took care of Gabriel and left the house for most of the morning so that Michael and I could get through early labor in peace and quiet.

We went to the hospital at 10am, and had Faith in our arms about four hours later. It was fast, but blessedly so. Everything was so fast, in fact, that my epidural almost didn't have time to kick in, something I will admit I was a hair's breadth away from panicking about. It's easy to forget just how intense, painful and ultimately humbling labor can be! I don't know what I would have done without my husband there for what I did go through "naturally" before my epidural kicked in completely (at about 8 1/2 centimeters or so). Michael was such an amazing coach!

At four days old now, Faith has so far been an absolutely angelic infant. She has a sweet, calm personality as far as we can tell. She is easily persuaded that All is Right with the World again if she gets upset--which isn't often. She sleeps, eats, cuddles, and endures diaper changes (and arms changes around a room of people) like a pro! She seems to be as comfortable sleeping in her crib as she is in my arms.

Of course, all of this is on a "so far" basis. :) Her mommy is so in love with her that I've already forgiven her for any inclination she may have to become more demanding tomorrow or next week or at some point down the line.

These first few days, at least, have been a treasure.

Of course I'm planning to write about Gabriel's response to Faith, our first few days at home, and the overwhelming love and responses from friends and family upon Faith's birth, but now I must go and fulfill my duty to the First Rule of New Moms, "sleep when the baby sleeps." :)

2011-08-31T13:29:00.001-05:00

Loved this article. Husband/boy bashing is so easy--and so common. http://tinyurl.com/4xfgdkf

2011-08-31T10:20:00.001-05:00

Looking at double jogging strollers (new and used)--does anyone have suggestions? Liking the Schwinn Free Wheeler 2 so far.

2011-08-30T13:38:00.001-05:00

Looks like it will be cooling off a bit in Houston over the next week--lots of rain and even some lows dipping down into the 70's!

No baby yet.

2011-08-28T20:40:00.000-05:00

Michael and I have been "ready" for this baby for about two weeks now. We've had the bags packed, the pack n' play set up and ready, diapers and wipes stocked and organized, the van washed and vacuumed, the car seat installed, the baby toys and clothes ready, the linens washed and ready, and my extensive summer list of To-Do's (mostly) tackled.

I'm ready to meet this precious little girl. But she is quite happy to stay in the oven at the moment.

I remember halfway dreading Gabriel's birth because everything was so unknown and new--I had no idea, other than what I'd read in books and gleaned from conversations with friends--of how to get through labor and how to be a mother. And consequently I was completely at peace with simply letting him stay in as long as he wanted to! The fact that he came 15 days early took me somewhat by surprise. But I liken it to someone throwing you in a chilly pool you're not sure you want to go swimming in. You're thankful that it wasn't up to you in the end to decide when and how you'd jump in!

The end of this pregnancy has been very different, because I'm so much more ready to have this baby! (Not the least of my reasons being that I'm much more physically uncomfortable this time around for a few reasons.)

After being honestly a bit disappointed each day of the past week and a half or so that the baby hasn't arrived, I am thankful for a spiritual return to peace this weekend. After all, I was reminded these past couple of days, this baby isn't choosing when she's coming--God is.

So, keep checking back on Humble Handmaid and/or on Facebook. Baby Girl will come eventually! My due date isn't until September 6, after all.

Thank you for your prayers, everyone!

St. Gerard Majella, pray for us!

Summer successes - Part 2

2011-08-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

Another 'success' of my summer has been the organization of my home, household chores, and family activities.

Take a second to breeze through this old post to get an idea of how overwhelmed I was with housework, my job and parenting back in January of this year. I feel sorry for myself just reading back through it (especially when I look at the picture of that disastrous roast).

I feel a thousand miles away from that now.

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about the chores and activities calendar I created recently to help me get on top on everything. I have absolutely loved this new system ever since I started it. And, surprisingly, so has my husband. Michael has commented several times out of the blue over the past few weeks about how much he appreciates the organization of our home, meals and activities.

I do laundry only on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays now. I vacuum on Wednesdays. I clean bathrooms every Friday. I run most of my errands on Wednesdays. Gabriel and I go to the library on Monday mornings, and we attend daily mass every Tuesday and Thursday morning. Friday is our play date day.

It was a little tough to make myself stick to the schedule at first (and I still allow myself reasonable flexibility), but I have noticed that my house is the cleanest and most peaceful that it's ever been, by far. And the routine I've created stands up to interruptions like teething, rainy days, tired days, and company.

I'm definitely still tweaking lots of things, and sometimes I definitely don't feel on top of all of those little daily challenges of housework and motherhood that all of us face. But as I finish my summer as a rookie member of the noble SAHM club, I think that me being home has concretely made my life and my family's lives more peaceful and orderly, and I am so thankful for that!

Summer successes - Part 1

2011-08-16T21:21:00.000-05:00

As summer comes to a close, I'm realizing that I accomplished fewer of my goals than I set out to, but that I'm happy with what I've done.

One goal I had for the summer was to teach myself how to shop more intelligently (and frugally!) using coupons, taking advantage of sales, and changing the way I plan meals each week. I am happy to report that I have saved about $60 on groceries so far this month by matching coupons and shopping sales at my local Kroger and H-E-B. (Die-hard Coupon Divas and Extreme Couponing producers would probably laugh at that, but it's a big step for me!) There are so many great tips and tricks to saving money on groceries and everyday household items, and I'm taking things one step at a time.

For example, this week was my first week consciously matching up online coupons I printed out with sales on particular items at Kroger and H-E-B. And the month of August has also been the first month that I have planned at least half of my family's meals based on what's on sale meat-wise each week. I also signed up for a CVS card last week, so that I can start to take advantage of what I understand to be some amazing savings opportunities with their generous Extra Care Bucks program.

I have a long way to go, but I think I'm headed in the right direction with a humble one-step-at-a-time approach.

Here are some Websites that have been helpful to me this summer. Please feel free to leave a comment with any favorite sites or blogs you've found that help newbie frugalistas like me learn how to get fantastic deals on everything! :)

http://moneysavingmom.com/31-days-to-a-better-budget-series

http://moneysavingmom.com/

http://moneysavingmom.com/2008/01/cvs-101.html

http://coupondivas.com/

http://www.iheartkroger.com/
http://www.southernsavers.com/

http://www.cellfire.com/

http://myfrugaladventures.com/2009/10/learning-to-cvs-2/

Gabriel the Explorer

2011-08-13T20:30:00.001-05:00

I've had a bit more energy lately, so I've tried my best to get Gabriel outside more. He is so much happier when he gets to blow off some of that toddler steam in the Great Outdoors--and so is his mommy. Here are some recent photos from a few summer adventures with my curious little Gabriel.

He is definitely not worried about leaving me behind when we go places--he is an Explorer through and through!

At the Kemah splash fountain a few weeks ago.

I wonder why I don't seem to have many shots of Gabriel actually looking at the camera...

A group of my friends all went in to buy me a glider recently (THANKS so much girls!!!). We found the perfect new job for the big cardboard box it came in...

Time flies

2011-08-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

I just found this adorable little home video from May of 2010, when Gabriel was 6 months old. What a darling, darling baby he was! :) He is now a hot-blooded toddler of almost 20 months...how time flies.

Radiant faith

2011-08-10T22:02:00.000-05:00

"Those who look to Him are radiant..." -Psalm 34:5

This is one of my favorite little Psalms. It reminds me that if I'm letting God in with all my heart, I should radiate every fruit of the Holy Spirit to everyone around me.

One of the daily meditations in the Magnificat recently was an excerpt from the diary of Elisabeth Leseur, a married laywoman who lived at the end of the 19th century in France. Leseur's cause for canonization is underway. She was married to an atheist and suffered much during her life from his antagonism of her faith. Her husband read her diary after her death from breast cancer, however, and converted to Catholicism, eventually becoming a priest.

I was struck by how this passage from her diary expands on the idea of radiating one's faith--especially to one's husband and family.

The Gift of Self. Not only in fulfilling my responsibilities to everyone, not only in charitable work, not only in prayer, but in my whole attitude and way of life. Great and holy ideas and deep convictions often influence others only through the attractiveness of those who embody them. "You will know them by their fruits" (Mt 7:16), our Savior said--by the fruits of devotion, charity, and radiant faith, and also by those blossoms that first attract notice and precede the fruit; those are called tender love, graciousness...serenity, equanimity, friendliness, joy and simplicity. A truly holy person--mistress, by divine grace, of her body and its challenges--without ever speaking, exudes the delicate perfume of these flowers. Such a person attracts others by her gentle influence and prepares them for God's approach, which she eventually obtains for them through her prayers."

So often I wish I had the right words all the time in conversations with my husband. The right words to encourage, to challenge, to uplift. But in the end maybe it is my behavior all of the time I'm not talking to Michael that is most important in helping my husband get to heaven. It's those "blossoms that first attract notice and precede the fruit...tender love, graciousness...serenity, equanimity, friendliness, joy and simplicity."

I could use some work on all of these "blossoms" though.

The very nature of marriage and motherhood makes it a huge challenge (maybe just for me?) to maintain anything close to consistent "tender love," "equanimity," or (I'm laughing as I type this) simplicity every moment of every ordinary day.

But giving myself up to hopeless spiritual mediocrity also isn't an option.

Which is why I like the part in the meditation where Leseur points out that "a truly holy person" is "mistress, by divine grace, of her body and its challenges."

Reminding myself that I am created for more than mediocrity, and then praying for the grace of God to live that out--that's my strategy.

Third Anniversary Night Out

2011-08-07T21:36:00.001-05:00

Our anniversary night out was a smashing success! Michael has been so busy that I volunteered to plan the entire thing, and I did pretty well if I say so myself. :) We both had a great time.

Since I'm 36 weeks pregnant, we couldn't travel anywhere very far, so I decided to do another "staycation" here in Houston, similar to what we did last year.

I started out on Saturday afternoon with a small scavenger hunt around the house that led Michael to clues about our itinerary. I ended up confusing myself and losing one of the clues while I was hurriedly trying to hide them as he ate lunch though, and also I accidentally hid clues in Gabriel's room before he went down for a nap. Since I had lost one of the clues and also placed a couple of them in a room with a sleeping baby we didn't want to disturb, the scavenger hunt ended up being pretty hilarious with all of the improvising I had to do! Michael absolutely loved it.

Our evening began at the 5pm vigil mass at Houston's gorgeous Co-cathedral of the Sacred Heart. Neither of us had been to the co-cathedral before. We both love visiting beautiful churches, so it was fun to go there for the first time. Not to mention God spoke to both of us with the hard-hitting homily on the awesome Gospel reading (Peter walking on water with Jesus and floundering when he starts to lose faith).

After mass, we headed over to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for dinner. Michael worked at the Baton Rouge Ruth's Chris in college, and I had never eaten there, so it was a big treat for both of us. My mouth is actually watering just thinking about the delicious filet I ordered. We both ate very, very slow and savored every bite of our food.

After dinner, we went with full, happy bellies to see a movie, Crazy Stupid Love. We both enjoyed it, surprisingly. (That statement really reads: I was surprised that Michael agreed to go see it and actually liked it too!)

The night ended at the Hotel Indigo, a small boutique hotel in the Galleria area. It was definitely not your average stuffy-ish hotel--everything was calm, clean and decorated in cool tropical blues, greens and white, so that you really felt like you were on a little getaway to the islands. It reminded us a lot of our honeymoon in St. Lucia, and we absolutely loved it!

Sleeping in on Sunday morning was a dream come true, sort of literally :). I kept waking up and having to tell myself that I could go back to sleep! (I also kept waking up with a start thinking I'd heard crying babies in the distance, though) Waking up "naturally" for once was one of the biggest treats for us this weekend.

After a late breakfast, we headed home and spent the rest of the day resting and hanging out with our precious 20-month-old. Well, Michael may have done more hanging out than I did. I am in full-blown Nesting Mode over here! I have this overwhelming impulse to organize, clean, set up, rearrange, you name it!

Our actually anniversary is on August 8. It's been three exciting, busy years! We graduated from college, moved to Houston, had two babies (well almost two :), bought our first house, purchased a minivan (which I swore I'd never do, lol) and started a business. God has been good to us, and I hope with all of my heart that we have lived in a way that has pleased and honored Him.

God be praised for good health, friends, family and our many blessings as Michael and I celebrate year three together tomorrow.

Michael and I a couple of months ago, posing in front of the house before heading to a gala I'd received tickets to through work. I love this man!!!!

Bizziness

2011-08-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks in the Franco household have been bizzy, as in busy+dizzy=bizzy.

As in I'm making up goofy words to describe my life bizzy. :)

Busy because Michael is getting more and more CrossCutt customers, which means he is working more and more afternoons/evenings per week, which means we don't see him as much anymore, which means I'm on my own quite a lot more than our lives B.C. (Before CrossCutt).

Dizzy because I'm doing all this with a rebellious teenager (did I type that? I meant toddler) in tow, plus celebrating a (fantastic!!!!) birthday and an anniversary or two, plus carrying around an almost-here Baby Girl who likes to nap on top of my bladder, make me tired all the time, and keep me up tossing and turning every night.

I've been trying my heart out to deal with all the bizziness in my life with vigilant daily prayer and patience. And God has been good to me.

I had a much-needed, wonderful visit from my mom and sister this past weekend--complete with a surprise visit from my little brother, who drove with a family friend to surprise me and spend the weekend with us! I also had a few friends throw me a baby "sprinkle" on Saturday. My mom and sister took me shopping on Monday to pick up the rest of my New Baby Necessities, and it felt great to spend some quality Girl Time with them, as well as finish getting everything together that I need to bring this baby home.

The next few weeks are going to be just as bizzy. Maybe bizzier.

Our summer roommate, Katie, is leaving us this coming Sunday. My Anniversary Night Out is this coming Saturday, and my aunt will be coming to babysit Gabriel and help me with a few baby projects around the house. And our fall roommate, Colin, will be arriving in just about a week and a half to stay with us for the fall. It's definitely a non-traditional situation having someone come to live with you right before the birth of a new baby, but Colin is going to be a desperately-needed help to Michael with our growing business, and I think that he will be a huge help to me with Gabriel and with the house.

Baby Girl is due on Sept. 6. I can't believe it's so close.

I will confess that I am going to be much, much readier to have this baby than I was my first baby! I think it's because this pregnancy is so much more physically challenging for me. :)

Send some prayers to Houston, please! We need them! :)

Rest in Prayer

2011-07-28T06:58:00.001-05:00

The sun hears the fields talking about effort

and the sun

smiles,

and whispers to

me,

"Why don't the fields just rest, for

I am willing to do

everything

to help them

grow?"

Rest, my dears, in

prayer.

-St. Catherine of Siena

Of mommies and monks (CatholicMom.com version)

2011-07-26T21:56:00.000-05:00

I always seem to run across this prayer by Thomas Merton just when I need to read it again.

I love the down-to-earth quality of it. I also love that Merton was a Trappist monk, someone whom it might be easy to assume has a little more figured out as far as where he's going in life than the average person.

My Lord God, we have no idea where we are going. We do not see the road ahead of us. We cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do we really know ourselves, and the fact that we think that we are following your will does not mean that we are actually doing so. But we believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And we hope we have that desire in all that we are doing. We hope that we will never do anything apart from that desire. And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it. Therefore we will trust you always though we may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. We will not fear, for you are ever with us, and you will never leave us to face our perils alone. Amen.

I’m about to celebrate both my third anniversary and my 25^th birthday. In just a few weeks, I will welcome my second child into the world. I quit my job at the beginning of the summer to stay home full time with my 19-month-old son and new baby. My husband and I also started a business this summer. And by this Christmas, we will have had no fewer than four different family members and friends live with us for various periods of time over the course of the year.

Despite the fact that my husband and I do our very best to discern God’s will for our lives, we are living so much by faith this year! We can only trust that our desire to do God’s will and our earnest and prayerful discernment of each step we take is leading us in the direction of God’s plan for our marriage and family.

My favorite line of this prayer is this: “And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it.” This line echoes a Bible verse I keep close to my heart when anxiety at all that I have going on in my life tries to take over.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

We are all in the same boat with seeking God’s will within our vocations, whether we're mommies or monks.

Thought for the week: A steady spirit

2011-07-26T14:46:00.000-05:00

"A pure, simple and steady spirit is not distracted by flitting about from one thing to another, for he does all things to the honor of God and tries in his heart to be free from all selfishness." - The Imitation of Christ, Ch. 3

Oh to be a pure, simple and steady spirit, and to not let my passions and emotions get the best of me!

This quote makes me think of the gorgeous old oak trees back "home" where I'm from in Louisiana. Talk about simple and steady. They don't even let hurricanes get them bent out of shape (usually).

Calendar fun

2011-07-26T14:35:00.000-05:00

This is my first week trying out my new chores and activity calendar.

I worked all last week on it and I think it's ready for its test run! I used Microsoft Outlook's calendar feature to create a comprehensive color-coded calendar to help me keep track of daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, semi-annual and yearly chores around the house.

Who remembers to vacuum the baseboards (and when he/she does, actually does it) without a little help from a Friendly Reminder on a calendar? Not me, as my record shows!

Before now, I have always just had a vague, nagging feeling that "It's time to dust again," or "I should really clean those blinds," or "When's the last time I vacuumed again?" I'm looking forward to having this calendar help me put some much-needed routine into cleaning my house, as well as scheduling family time, remembering special events, and maintaining regular activities for myself and the kids.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Thinking about babies

2011-07-23T22:10:00.001-05:00

This is a picture of Gabriel when he was less than a week old. I can't believe I'm having another one of these in just a few weeks!

I'm looking so forward to meeting my baby girl! :)

Of mommies and monks

2011-07-18T20:04:00.001-05:00

I always seem to run across this prayer just when I need to read it again. I love the frankness and down-to-earth quality of it. I also love that it was written by a Trappist monk, someone whom it might be easy to assume has 'a lot figured out' as far as where he's going in life.

It is a reminder to me that we're all in the same boat with our vocations, whether we're mommies or monks :)

My Lord God, we have no idea where we are going. We do not see the road ahead of us. We cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do We really know ourselves, and the fact that we think that we are following your will does not mean that we are actually doing so. But we believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And we hope we have that desire in all that we are doing. We hope that we will never do anything apart from that desire. And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road though we may know nothing about it. Therefore we will trust you always though we may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. We will not fear, for you are ever with us, and you will never leave us to face our perils alone. Amen.

Spiritual Thought for the Week - Holy vs. Good Enough

2011-07-17T21:12:00.001-05:00

On one of the talks on the retreat last weekend, I heard something that has been on my heart ever since: Christ's standard is holiness; Satan's standard is mediocrity.

I don't think that a lot of us would consider ourselves particularly lazy people. I know that I didn't. But lately, I've realized just how lazy I've been in my spiritual life for a long time.

It goes back to the idea that, if you spend some time really meditating on Christ--on who He is, what He's done, what you owe Him, what you've done for Him, and what you should do for Him--mediocrity becomes unacceptable.

And pleasing Him in every little thing that you do becomes the greatest goal and joy of your life.

How terrifically easy this is to type--and terrifically tough to put into practice.

This week, when I find myself making a decision to be or do something "good enough"--I am working on taking a second look at the purity of my intentions and the fullness of my "yes" in that moment to what God wants me to do.

The Man Likes His Cowboy Boots

2011-07-17T20:37:00.000-05:00

For those of you who only check my blog for baby pictures (you know who you are :), here are a few from June and July. Enjoy! :)

I think Gabriel may be getting into a Cowboy Boots phase. We have a pair someone gave us that he can finally put on and walk around in, even though they are still too big for him. He wants to wear them all the time! Notice the blue Spiderman sunglasses he has on too. Too. Cute.

Playing at the park behind our house

The big stone ball at the splash park in Hermann Park was the highlight of his day that day. Gabriel LOVES balls of any kind, including balloons, which he calls balls as well.

Gabriel enjoyed climbing up and down on the landscaping stones more than he liked the splash park area...but that's OK.

A pic from our miserably hot trip to the zoo with some friends. We had a very good time overall (we got to feed the giraffes $5 pieces of Romaine!), but it was so ridiculously hot that both of us were just pooped by the time we got home! This photo is indicative of how Gabriel's mom felt most of the time we were there too.

Gabriel and Michael before Michael took down the old swings set in our backyard one afternoon this week. My husband has more energy and work ethic than anyone I have ever met. I think he had an afternoon coffee that day, which always has the effect of making him Super Productive (on top of how productive he normally is with his time, which is considerable!)

Sitting inside of a new toy my friend Shelly gave us this afternoon. This toy has one of those twisty-wire-thingies that fits on top that you roll little wooden shapes around on. Gabriel's favorite part of the toy is sitting in it though.

The silence was golden.

2011-07-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

This week, I have kept putting off writing about my Miles Christi silent retreat last weekend because it was such a precious, powerful experience for me. The holy priests who staffed the retreat guided us in an intense, truly challenging selection of St. Ignatius of Loyola's Spiritual Exercises.

I like this portrayal of St. Ignatius Loyola because he seems awed, grateful and surprised as he looks toward Heaven. Three adjectives that I, too, experienced over the weekend!

I could write a year of blog posts reflecting on the meditations and personal revelations that God generously poured out on me over the course of my retreat (and I think I will end up doing just that, in one way or another). God used this retreat to correct, illuminate and inspire many of the fundamentals of my faith--especially my personal relationship with Jesus.

My last post before the retreat, "Loving God for God's Sake," turned out to be a divine foreshadowing of a major message God had for me during the weekend. Before I left for the retreat, I was almost overwhelmed by the feeling that I was "missing" something fundamental in my faith. I didn't know how to bring a real understanding of God's mercy into my very heart and soul.

A weekend of near-constant prayer, spiritual meditation and frequent adoration before the Blessed Sacrament--not to mention complete silence on my part--was just what God needed to show my soul just the tiniest bit of what I had been missing.

What I like best about this retreat was that it was very spiritually challenging for me. I have been on a couple of retreats since my 'conversion' (if a Cradle Catholic like me can call it that) in college. Both of the retreats were fruitful to a certain extent for where I was in my life, but they weren't challenging in the way that I think my particular soul has been thirsting for for a long time.

So there is my stab at writing about the wonderful retreat experience I was blessed with last weekend. I am so thankful and humbled: My God is an awesome God!

Baby Love

2011-07-13T11:24:00.000-05:00

We had our 32-week ultrasound this morning, and we got some gorgeous pictures of our baby girl! We are due Sept. 6. I can't wait to meet this little one...

At around 4lb, so far she is in a healthy 38th percentile range for weight. Both she and I are doing great as we move into the home stretch of the pregnancy.

"You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part!" -Song of Songs 4:7

Loving God for God's Sake

2011-07-07T05:00:00.001-05:00

God likes to speak to my heart when I'm in the car.

I was in our blue Honda Odyssey a few days ago, cheerfully headed to the grocery store with bright-eyed 19-month-old Gabriel heartily singing the melody of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in his car seat. It had been a lovely day so far. I sent up a silent, wholehearted prayer of thanksgiving for the day and for my life's many blessings.

But God interrupted me. Gently, kindly, firmly.

Why do you love Me?

I had this one.

"Because you are wonderful! Because I trust Your plan for my life completely! Because I am convinced you are the way, the truth and the life--and that You will make the most of me!

"Is that all?"

Pause. Frown.

"Because I can't get through a single day without You! Because I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful babies and great friends and a roof over my head...because you have blessed my life in so many ways!"

So you love Me because of what I have done to guide you, provide for you, and give you peace in your life. But do you also love Me for My sake?

And the troubling thought came over me like a cloud: do I love God and praise His name for all of the right reasons--or am I missing something?

St. Bernard of Clairvaux explains that the first, or lowest, degree of love for God is when man loves God for man's sake. I think, in all honesty, I have mostly fallen into this first degree-er group.

And I think, after our conversation in my Odyssey the other day, that God wants me--and all of us--to dive more deeply into Him. Thankfully, St. Bernard goes on to explain how and why we should go further than loving God because of the good things he brings to our lives.

"We are to love God for Himself, because of a twofold reason; nothing is more reasonable, nothing more profitable. When one asks, Why should I love God? he may mean, What is lovely in God? or What shall I gain by loving God? In either case, the same sufficient cause of love exists, namely, God himself.

And first, of His title to our love. Could any title be greater than this, that He gave Himself for us unworthy wretches? And being God, what better gift could He offer than Himself? Hence, if one seeks for God's claim upon our love here is the chiefest: Because He first loved us (1 John 4:19)."

My prayer in the car that day ended with an image, of all things. God placed an image in my mind of Christ on the cross. And as I've thought about that image over the last few days, and as I read St. Bernard's words this evening, I am wondering if it's only in contemplating Christ on the cross that we begin to understand why God is worthy of our love.

Learning to love God as He wants and deserves to be loved--that is a tall order indeed.

I am no theologian or great spiritual writer. And I am laughing as I write this because my first instinct is to feel pretentious for attempting to think about--let alone write about--a topic that is so abstract, so rich and full of depth that it seems beyond my reach. I'm just a young suburban wife and mother.

And yet.

As I write this I am reminded that we are all called to holiness, without exception, to the degree that God has created us for it. We busy mothers and wives cannot hide for long behind caring for our families and homes. We cannot fall into the thinking that the intimate relationships the saints had with our Lord are not meant for such as us. To do so is to live in spiritual mediocrity.

I am headed on a silent retreat this weekend, and I am hoping that the silence will give God some room to elaborate on on our "conversation" this week, teaching me how to love Him for His sake, and not just my own.

Being outnumbered has its perks

2011-07-05T21:01:00.000-05:00

I may be outnumbered by boys in my house (for two more months at least!), but they come in handy sometimes. Especially for doing hot, sweaty activities like mowing the lawn!

We put Gabriel's sunglasses on to protect his eyes from the flying grass. And because he looks adorable in them. :)

Did I mention that a pleasant byproduct of Michael working his tail off starting CrossCutt is that he is getting humongous muscles? :)

First nap without a crib

2011-07-03T15:25:00.000-05:00

We took this little gem of a picture this afternoon. We decided this morning to convert Gabriel's crib to a toddler bed today, but we hadn't finished the project before naptime. I was a little worried that he wouldn't nap very well today sleeping on his mattress on the floor, but he went down quite happily surrounded by his purple unicorn Pillow Pal (thanks Aunt Rivers:) and his green Boppy (I'll have to wean him off the Boppy once I need it again for his sister:).

When we checked on him two hours later, this is what we found.

Creative anniversary ideas?

2011-06-29T09:39:00.001-05:00

Scuba diving on our awesome honeymoon in St. Lucia! Despite that big smile, I didn't have a very good experience with the scuba diving itself...for the next three days, I woke up gasping for breath with nightmares about being dragged into the depths of the ocean by shadowy masked figures...

I'm looking for some inexpensive ideas for celebrating our three-year anniversary this August 8. Instead of doing gifts, we decided last year to start taking an anniversary trip. This year, we'll be less than four weeks away from our official due date for Baby Girl, so traveling or doing tons of walking or outdoor activities won't be much of an option for us.

There's a possibility we could do something on one of the last two weekends in July, but that's subject to a couple of factors we are still working out schedule-wise. Michael works every Saturday now, so we are looking at a Saturday evening through Sunday during the day outing most likely. One night and full or partial day away--just the two of us--would be fantastic. A bed and breakfast somewhere near Houston would be lovely I think.

We had a great 'staycation' last year here in Houston, and we're definitely open to doing that again.

We have a low budget for our anniversary this year, but we're both ready and excited to be creative!

Any ideas?

The Power of Positivity

2011-06-23T05:00:00.002-05:00

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philipians 4:6

This is a familiar verse for me. And yet (as Scripture tends to do), some of the truths in this verse have taught me practical new lessons for my life lately. The most powerful of these lessons has been about being positive in my everyday life.

One part of this lesson that I've been living out lately is the "with thanksgiving part." More and more I've been trying to be thankful first and foremost in prayer, even when I have an urgent or specific intention. And I've found that this practice really helps me get back in perspective, as well as often "save" a day.

Very rarely will you hear me say anymore, "it's been a bad day." Life is too short--and God has too much important work for us to do--to give up on a single day like that. I will concede that I can certainly have a rough morning, or evening, or night, but if we label an entire day as "bad" for reasons other than devastating medical test results, someone losing a job, or a terrible accident (you get the idea), I think that in most cases, within reason, we're getting too wrapped up in the small stuff.

And perhaps we're forgetting to be thankful for the small stuff.

Since I've been home full time for a couple of weeks now, I've started attending daily mass a couple of times a week with my 18-month-old son, Gabriel. Like almost any toddler, he's an active little boy, and it's been a struggle for many months now to find and maintain effective discipline in mass. While I am happy to report that he is behaving better and better in mass these days, especially in daily masses, I've noticed that my internal stress level about attending mass with him has calmed considerably since I started changing my prayer during my time in mass. Where I used to lift up constant prayers for Gabriel to "please, please behave today!", I've started adding my special thanks to God for each moment of peace and good behavior that I do get during mass.

When I make an effort to add the "with thanksgiving" part to my prayers, I find that I tend to notice the little gifts and blessings in the situation.

For example, in morning mass this past week, I realized that Gabriel had been quiet and well-behaved through almost the entire Liturgy of the Word. He slammed his head into the pew during the Gospel when picking up his copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar off the floor. But that day I had been struck by the relevance and power of the Responsorial Psalm to a particular situation in my life, and I had actually gotten to pray through that part of the mass (for once) before having to take Gabriel to the back to cry off the bump on his head. I realized that and was given great peace by that as I sent up a quick prayer while scooping up my wailing son. Just a small gift, but a gift all the same. And just a small peace, but a peace that really did "guard my heart and mind" from getting angry or frustrated.

Being positive and looking for blessings in the midst of petition has also been helpful in other areas of my life. My husband and I just started a small business, and I recently quit my job to be home full-time. I'm also nearly seven months pregnant. We have a lot going on in our life right now! Good things, but new things. I've absolutely seen how being positive, trusting in God, and maintaining my peace (at least, mostly:) has really helped my husband and family make these transitions. Especially as a wife and mother, I've seen how being more positive has helped me, as the "heart of the home" to maintain a (mostly) peaceful home.

Yet again, God has led me away from myself in my search for peace. It's not about tuning out the hard stuff, but looking for the little reminders of God's interest and presence in our lives that shower us during the day. It's having just enough wipes left in the pack to take care of the horrific Stinky (number 5 of the day!) you're trying to dispose of. It's having your husband get home in time for dinner, even though you burned the bread and over-boiled the broccoli because you had to nurse your impatient, hungry little two-month-old.

It's this kind of small stuff that provides us with just enough grace to take our next step.

Mothers have a Get Your Hands Dirty kind of job. Our job isn't glamorous. It's not always fun. But God created marriage and families for a reason: He decided they were the best way to teach us about Himself. Keeping that in mind helps us lift up the mundane parts of our lives and give them meaning, purpose, and nobility.

I've only been a mom for 18 months now, but already I cling to the knowledge that everything I do for my children and family is truly aimed toward the divine in its own created way.

A Really Big Pool, Dynamic Soccer, Father's Day Memories and a Big Boy Haircut

2011-06-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

We had a fun weekend!

On Friday, my sister Shannon and her boyfriend Myles came to visit us for the weekend. Before they arrived, though, our summer roommate Katie took Gabriel and I on a special tour of the NASA Neutral Buoyancy Lab (NBL). Even though I've been a "NASA wife" for a few years now, I had never been to the NBL before, and I loved it!

The NBL is an enormous indoor pool with mockups of the International Space Station and the Space Shuttle. The astronauts train at the NBL for each mission. The finals of the ROVER International Robotics Competition were held over the weekend, and Katie was a volunteer and got to bring guests in for tours during the competition.

On Saturday night, Shannon and Myles treated us to a Houston Dynamo game. I loved it! I played soccer through about 8th grade, and all of my brothers and sisters played soccer through high school (with my brother on soccer scholarship in college) so it was nice to actually know what was going on in the game!

Unfortunately, the Columbus Crew stole the show from the Dynamo this weekend, but the Dynamo really did play hard, and I'd definitely go see another game! My dad is actually a big soccer fan, so Michael and I started preliminary scheming to lure him to Houston for a visit by taking him to a game sometime.

For Father's Day on Sunday, we ended up having a much more busy day than we planned! We went to 9am mass, then to the mall to pick out Michael's birthday gift, and then to have lunch with our good friends the Perrymans. After a long nap for the entire family that afternoon, we went over to our friend Lucy's house for the evening. We made homemade grilled pizzas and Italian sausage for dinner, and the little boys (six in all under 4!) played in a kiddie pool and then played their sweaty little boy hearts out all evening. It was a joy to see them all toddling around together. Lucy and I ended up throwing her two oldest and Gabriel in the bathtub together, where we managed to knock off at least the first layer of mud, grass and sweat from them. Rub-a-dub-dub, three boys in the tub...it's called a circus!

Here are some adorable home videos from that afternoon...

We ended up just letting him run around in a diaper for the rest of the evening after dinner. He didn't mind. :)

Gabriel mowed the lawn and followed 3 1/2 year-old John-Matthew around for 40 minutes while Katie and I cleaned up inside and Michael weeded the driveway for Lucy.

In other news...I gave Gabriel his first clipper haircut today. I've been trimming his hair with scissors every once in a while, but this was his first official Little Boy Haircut. Lucy let me borrow a DVD on cutting hair, and I watched it and then I took Gabriel outside, got Michael's clipper set, and went at it! I don't have any photos yet, but here's some video from this afternoon with the new 'do. :)

Embracing the mess of the fray

2011-06-15T16:56:00.000-05:00

I wanted to re-post this blog from Fallible Blogma, a great Catholic blog written by a fellow Houstonian named Matthew Warner. It's a great message for parents, but especially for all of the hardworking dads out there as Father's Day approaches.

I've been trying my heart out lately to step up into my new roles of Stay-at-Home Mom and Wife of a Man Who Just Started a Business. The Wife of a Man Who Just Started a Business role is the tougher of the two so far! Michael is working as hard or harder than I've ever seen him. He has, hands down, the strongest work ethic I've ever seen, but he even his seemingly boundless energy is really being taxed lately by the demands of our new business (on top of maintaining his 40-hour work weeks). A new baby coming soon as well as the loss of the income from our old job certainly may make things a little more intense for him!

I love the part in this article about finding peace in the "sweat" of the journey. So perfect in the 100+ degree heat we are having here in Houston...

I pray for Michael, speak encouraging words and Scripture to him, take care of Gabriel, make him healthy meals and give him a clean and peaceful house to come home to. And these are valuable things for sure. But sometimes when he's out late working, and still gets up faithfully and uncomplaining at the crack of dawn each day, I desperately want to be able to pick up a shovel, or a weed-eater, and physically help him.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity and challenge God has given us, because I know He is working on both of our souls.

And you know what? Talk about God's timing: He absolutely has seemed to orchestrate the starting of our business with my quitting my job and entering my third trimester, so that I would have the time and energy to do all of the things I am able to do for Michael to support him. And I'm awed and thankful for that.

[From Matthew's June 15 blog, "Embracing the Mess of the Fray"]

“When we find ourselves grousing about having so little time for ourselves, for being asked to do so much, let’s try to remind ourselves that that’s the way it’s supposed to be. God gave us our families to serve. We are being asked to give everything for our families. Indeed, we are being called to be modern heroes in our families and in our society.” – Stephen Gabriel, To Be A Father
Sometimes we look for peace and relief in all the wrong places. For many things, we just have to accept the fray of the world we live in. We have to find comfort in the mess and joy in the day-to-day struggle. Otherwise, we’ll be endlessly dissatisfied and stressed.
It’s like buying your own house and then only looking forward to the day when there are just no more things to fix or chores to do around it. That day just doesn’t come. We have to find some comfort in the unfinished work. This earthly life is a journey, not a destination or vacation. Yet we make the mistake of trying to turn it into one.
Find peace in the sweat of the journey. Only in such peace do we discover the presence of mind to really embrace the adventure and gift of the life before us.
We need to stop racing toward some hypothetical end all the time where we’re finally “all caught up”…only to realize at the end that we’ve missed the point entirely. All of the things we grumble about are most often precisely the things we should be doing. They are precisely the things we need for the journey. Don’t waste them. Embrace them.